Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013!

Happy New Year Y'all!

End of 2012

Life is about taking chances. It's putting yourself out there while you'd rather be in bed. Smile, The Lord has given you this day. Embrace those around you, they lift your praises. Blessed are those who love you, and you love them.

Quote-o- the day

You say I'm lonely. I say I'm fiercely independent. You say I'm unmarried. I say I am unwilling to settle. #Perspective

My END of the year resolution

Let's face it, each year we make all these "resolutions" or promises to ourselves to be a better person or to achieve some lofty goal. We try very hard the first two weeks of January to make it happen, but after a few weeks, we get bored, are tired of the insane amount of people at the gym, and slowly merge back into the flow of our old routine. I have been guilty of this since about kindergarten, which was oh- 25 years ago! 

So after being inspired by some commercial (possibly a car dealership) about making things happen at the end of this year, I decided to write this blog. If you think about it, a End of the Year Resolution is the perfect promise. You have 25 days to make this happen, with very little time to fall off the wagon. Plus this year at midnight on January 31st I will have met a goal and have something to celebrate! 

Now for the fun part, to lay out my resolutions for the next 25 days. 

Resolution #1: Not be so hard on myself during the holidays. I will accept my fabulous single self and not allow society (or my family) to make me feel anything less then the amazing 30 year old woman I am. 

Resolution #2: I will not eat my way through the holidays. I will continue to count my ww points each day AND walk/run at least a mile. I know with holiday cheer comes lots of holiday cheers-ing for me and my friends! I won't be tardy for the party, but I also will not gain any poundage during the fun. 

I'm sure there are many other awesome goals I could make for my End of the Year Resolution, but hey lets face it, I want to be able to actually keep these promises to myself. 

Small, obtainable goals in a short amount of time... Who's with me??? What are your end of the year resolutions? Bring on 2013!!

Things I Am Currently Over!

Things I am currently OVER!

(Yes, this is the opposite of a blog containing things I am currently obsessed with)

 

In no particular order:

• When they play "All the Single Ladies" at a wedding- we get it, I'm single. I don't need the entire wedding crowd acknowledging this.
• My cable not automatically syncing with my tv.
• Unhappy people.
• Ads on Facebook
• The static that was in my dress all day... I can still feel it.
• Stores playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving was over.
• Junk Mail in the form of email and physical mail.
• Taylor Swift acting like she is "shocked" that she won a award.
• Mispaired socks
• Match, Eharmony, and 10 other dating services constantly sending me emails to join.
• Nutella... yes this is a shocker for me too.
• Real Housewives of Miami.
• Feeling cold.
• The neighbor above me...talk about a 10,000 elephant walking on top of your head.
• Groupon...where did all the good deals go? Enough with the massages and facials already!
• People judging other people.
• Eating healthy... lol
• When you actually attempt to go to the gym, and you can't find a parking spot.
• My tv shows taking a hiatus during the holiday season.
• The fact that wine has calories.

That is it for now...

 

 

 
 
 

 

For the love of NUTELLA

This depicts my love for NUTELLA!

I might actually be doing this as I type! lol ;)

 

Self Permission Slip

Dear Savvy,

You have permission to skip the gym tonight, and instead stay at your apartment to clean, eat left over take out, and catch up on your dvr. It's ok to stay home one night while you reflect and plan of attack.

Just do you,
Your Savvy Self

 

Thanks for reading that dear reader. I just had to read it 4 times until I let my guard down and stopped the internal conflict in my head. You would think by reading the note that I was some sort of gym rat, that was constantly working out. Haha! I can be so hard on myself, that I often feel the need to seek permission from family or friends to stay in and not be social. Why is this "just being" so hard for me to do?

 

Tonight is one of those nights that I need to trap myself in my barely 700 square foot apartment and re-evaluate how I want to conquer the rest of 2012. I need to "recharge" and really spend some time with myself... something I have been avoiding for weeks.

 

When I am trying to escape alone time, that is when I know I need it most. I always know when this time is needed, for me its evidenced in my mood and constant need for comfort food (carbs and nutella).

 

I'm going to listen to my heart. So let it begin, let the self reflection time commence.

 

I'm 100% sure there will be some blog follow up.

 

These are a few of my favorite things!

The weather is gloomy outside, I'm sick and stress. Time for a attitude adjustment. 

Truly blessed to wake up each morning! 

These are a few of Savvy's Favorite things!!

• Aveda Chapstick! Its the best, seriously, it stays on and moisturizes all day! I just might have one at my desk, by my bed, in my purse, and on my coffee table.
• Reality TV- particularly The Real Housewives, The Bachelor, and Big Brother.
• Watching Disney movies with sweet nieces and nephew! They are so adorable and make me laugh.
• Nordstrom- I'm already getting excited about the boozy Christmas party! Level 2 holla!
• When my friends text me silly pictures or quotes!
• A good glass of red wine.
• Playing "I've Never" when out drinking with friends... seriously I'm always ready to play a game and WIN!
• Waking up on Saturday mornings, turning on ESPN Game Day, and then cheering my Texas Tech Red Raiders into victory!
• Body Jam class at my gym (if only I would be able to go more often). 
• Sonic Happy Hour!
• Freshly washed, crisp, sheets.
• Decorating for Christmas the weekend after Thanksgiving.
• When you go and get your hair cut, and your hairdresser massages your scalp for a extra long time!
• Dark chocolate.
• Having a skinny margarita on a patio in the month of May.
• Pinning, I have never wanted to be so domestic in my life. 
• When J Crew has 30% off sale items!
• My monthly girls book club. Yes my comprehension level and tolerance have both gone up.
• Looking at old picture albums with friends.
• Smart Water. I know its overpriced, but I like to believe that the electrolyes make me skinnier! 
• My newest discover, even though its not that new- On Demand! Who knew that you could catch up on a whole season's worth of shows in one review episode.
• My upstanding Saturday shopping date with my best friend aka my mom. Sometimes that is the one thing I look forward to all week long (and no its not for the killer fashion finds we discover, but for the quality time we spend together).
• Popcorn and a diet coke at the movies...both size large! It's the economical decision after all!
• Starbucks skinny vanilla latte on mornings when I want to call in sick and spend the entire day in my comfy bed.
• Chicken and dumplings when it's cold outside.
• Blogging about the interesting events in my life.
• When my dad becomes obsessed with a song, and plays it repeatedly, singing and dancing to it. (and yes, the song is usually some teenage pop song!)
• Going and listening to live music.
• The colors red, white, and blue.
• A extra large shirt and a good ole pair of granny panties on a Sunday. Ahh, the ultimate comfort after 6 days of Hanky Pankys and skinny jeans.
• Kendra Scott earrings. I don't know why, but I just feel fabulous when I wear them.
• Restaurant Week- enough said.
• The group texting function on my Iphone.
• When the song that is stuck in your head is the next song on the radio.

It's amazing how by just typing these words, a smile has spread upon my face. I definitely might have to update this list from time to time. I encourage each of you to make your own list of "favorite things". 

150 miles from Buc-ee

If you are from Texas then you know about a cluster, a six flags, a carnival of a truck stop called BUC-EE'S! When driving from Dallas to Houston or vice verse, Buc-ees provides you with a billboard countdown, letting you know at each mile marker how much closer you are getting to some Buc-ee nuggets, free fudge samples, beef jekey, or other beaver related products. Google it people. 

So needless to say, I was a little hesitant of dating a guy who's name was in fact- Bucky. Yes, I asked....this was in fact his real birth name. By now dear reader, you know how the story goes: I meet up with Bucky, charm him, go on several dates, and realize how NOT into him I am. This was in fact the case YET again; however this time there was a little twist. While dating this guy, I actually let him kiss me (I think twice). It took every ounce of my being to let him walk me to my apartment complex and lean in for a first kiss. Its weird, and yes, I am a freak. Kissing should not be work people! I'm sure my mom doesn't want to read this right now, but I used to be a bit of a kissing slut. I love kissing... or at least I used to! If I've learned anything lately, its that I save my kisses for people I actually a) find attractive b) have a crush on c) don't remind me of a beaver.

I might have used Bucky like a traveler overuses the public restrooms at the truck stop, but I blame timing. We started dating during the month of my 30th birthday. I was in a very vulnerable place in my life, and yes the idea of having a love potential did ease the blow of growing yet another year older. It felt good having someone text me during my birthday week and make plans for the weekend. 

The Bucky chapter of my life ends this way: When he went in to kiss me again on our last and final date, my body must have arched 150 miles from Bucky. It was like my physical being was rejecting this person. I tried to act like I wasn't trying to push him off of me, but I'm pretty sure he realized what was going on. Yikes, poor guy! 

Lessons learned: 

1) Don't date a guy who reminds you of a Beaver at a truck stop.

2) I need to really like you to want to kiss you.

(DISCLAIMER:THIS BEAVER IS NOT A ACTUAL PICTURE OF THE REAL BEAVER, I MEAN BUCKY...I TOLD YOU...GOOGLE PEOPLE, GOOGLE)

Chicken Soup for the Soul

Two friends sit down together at a restaurant in their childhood hometown. The location of the dining experience is the same, but as the community and experiences in their lives have evolved, so has their chicken soup. They have graduated from being the innocent, bright eyes high school girls at the Black Eyed Pea, into sophisticated women of the city whose flavor is more enriched. Now these two connected friends dine over a more exotic meal- Vietnamese Pho (aka chicken soup).

Each stares at the other divulging her latest "life frump". One is happily married for several years and yearning for a little one of her own, and the other is desperately seeking her Mr. Forever. Two women wanting something they have no control over. They laugh when they realize that both of them are thinking the grass is always greener on the other side. The single girl swears her life would be complete if she just found her groom, while the married friend just knows her life would be picturesque with the addition of a baby in her family portrait. They look at each other and both start to giggle-how silly they are sounding! The conversation lightens up as they both remember that life is not about planning for what could possibly come into your life tomorrow, but is for appreciating what God has blessed you with today.

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in comparing ourselves to everyone else's lives (Social media doesn't help this). No one will ever have the same experiences at the same time as you. Maybe if we stopped this insanity of "keeping up with the Kardashians" then we could really appreciate the place we are at...right now... in this exact moment!

In this ever changing world (especially in your 20's and 30's) people are naturally going to be in different life stages. Someone will be single, someone will be planning a wedding, someone will be expecting,divorcing, grieving, etc. Let's face it folks, high school was the last time we were all on the same leveled playing field. Life has graciously happened to each of us through unique experiences since then, and will continue to do so.

The two girls left the table hours later recharged after having a heavy helping of words only a old friend can speak. They both celebrated each other for where they were on that day. While they came from the same place, their worlds were miles apart... And that is what kept them together through all of life's storms and sunshines. Variety is the spice of life!

A Warning: From my panties

How do you know its time to get your rear in check???

 When your panties start getting to tight!!!

Each of us has that awesomely comfy pair of panties. You know, the all cotton pair, that are some hideous print, but fit you perfectly?? Well, I just put mine on and they are tight! WAKE UP CALL! When your panties are too tight, its time to get to the gym! 

More to come on this topic. But for now, I'm sleeping in shorts.

Lazy girl in the city

Let me tell you what has been on my mind this week- eat, sleep, eat, sleep... 

I somehow have morphed from this perky energetic singleton in the city, to some old school counselor who is completely content coming home and going to bed at 8:00 pm. I had two offers tonight to go do fun things with friends, and what did I do, I turned them down. That's right folks, for once in my life I chose solitude over company. Who am I? Is this what turning 30 does to you? Turns you into a unmotivated slob who lives on carbs, fattening food, and diet coke? 

I need to return to the girl who I was last week- the one that sprung out of bed at 5:30 to get her treadmill workout on, the one who wasn't craving stretchy pants, the one who was beaming confidence. I need to unnpack my freakin' suitcases as well! If someone were to come to my apartment right now, they might be wondering where my 8 cats are! 

I'm giving myself permission to be a bum for just one more night. I'm curling up on my couch watching me some reality tv, eating comfort food, pinning, and plotting my next move. Tomorrow I will wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to celebrate the weekend away as two of my fabulous singleton friends turn a year older! But until then, pass the remote, and bring me a blanky. 

Who Dat?

I just had the best weekend get away, and I owe it all to my dear college roomie! If it weren't for her getting married, I probably wouldn't have ever danced the night away in the streets of New Orleans!!! (No like literally, we did the whole "Second Step" tradition at the end of her reception. The whole wedding crowd walked the streets dancing and waving our napkins. We even had our own police escort! A-mazing!)

The best part weekend wasn't the insanely romantic wedding, the phenomenal food, the sea of people watching, the yummy drinks, or the get way from Big D- it was learning that true friends are those who you may not see for days, weeks, months, or years but instantly pick up where you left off. Seeing my college friends this weekend not only reminded me of all the CRAZY times we had in college, but also reminded me personally of how far I've come from meeting them as a 18 year old college freshman to seeing them now as a 30 year old mature (sometimes) woman. 

Cheers to all my sweet friends who love, motivate, cherish, inspire, and accept me through every phase of my life! 

Yogini?

Yoga- I hate you. There I said it. I hate your downward facing dog, your fancy poses, and the mats that make that peeling/squishy sound every time I move. I dislike the fact that every tiny celebrity from Bethany Frankel to Kelly Ripa claim you as the reason they lead such a healthy lifestyle. Your students are snobs of the mat and give distasteful looks at newcomers as they distort and contort their limbs effortlessly. Yoga- I hate you.

I hate you, yet I want to be you. I really do. You are so zen, so solid, so one with the world. You attract the gym elite to your realm of relaxation and self discovery. Your lines are so slim and sleek, and the scent of your being is invigorating.

Yoga, I hated you even more greatly tonight when I self talked my way into your classroom. I was all prepared to find my darkened area in the back row and skim through your routine. I wasn't prepared for the dramatic disruption of my chi......

You would put my mat next to the one girl from my high school who could do more flips then anyone else in the state. You would do that to my ego wouldn't you... Damn you yoga! You would make her say that she is completely out of shape (though she teaches a kick your ass body attack class at the gym) and proceed for her to nail each of your poses effortlessly as I scrounge the energy to lift my body from the floor. And to top it off, you would keep sending the instructor over to me to help "adjust" my imperfect attempts at downward facing dog, some triangle pose, and lunging like a warrior- because the whole class wasn't already staring at me.

Oh but yoga I love to hate you. That natural high you give me in the last five minutes of class already has me craving more. I hate you Yoga. I hate you so much that I will be there next Tuesday at six. I will once again be the one awkwardly posing in the back row, right next to the cute,bendy, sweet as pie, ex college cheerleader... Gosh I hate you yoga!!

Get out of your own way...

Sundays...

I think I have come full circle when it comes to Sundays. A year ago if you asked me which night of the week I feel the most single, my answer would have been on Sunday. If you asked me that same question now, my answer would be that there isn't any night that I feel alone. Something has definitely changed and its not my Facebook relationship status. 

When I was part of a couple- Sundays always meant dinner and then hanging out. I missed that for a long time after I was no longer a "we" and instead became a "just me". With lots of time and self love, I have filled that void of needing to have someone with simply being satisfied with just being with me. Its kinda a weird thing to actually admit. Today I was super excited about coming back home to my little world for a night of cooking dinner, watching two chick flicks in a row, pinning and napping. 

I'm not saying this is the Sunday routine I want to maintain for the rest of my life, but for now I'm comfortable and thoroughly enjoying spending time with myself. Its actually the thought of adding someone into my routine that stirs up some anxiety in my head. Right now in my life, there is the potential of my solo Sundays becoming extinct, and that kinda scares me. Am I ready to jump back into sharing my space and my time with someone? 

I think the answer to that is that I will give up my solo Sundays when I find someone I feel is worthy enough of my time. Someone who I want to spend my time with, someone that I can't get enough of being around. Someone who I see the potential for a lifelong Sunday routine with. Now the question remains- How do I let my guard down enough to let someone in...

Since I've Been Gone

Yup, it happened. No matter how hard I tried to slow it down, I turned the big 3-0 and am loving it! Not saying it came by tear free, but overall it was a fabulous milestone in my life. I can honestly say, that I am at my personal best emotionally and socially.... but physically I'm still not there. That is why I am dedicating this year to getting healthy and fit. That's right folks there is a new life challenge this year- To lose 31 pounds by 31. 

Ok I wrote it... It's out there. All ten of my followers know this is my goal, so now I must do it or face disappointment on August 19th 2013! Can I do it? How will I do it? These are all things I am going to spend this week figuring out. 

I just finished off a pint of Ben and Jerry's and am opening my new weight watchers scale. Tomorrow on Monday, September 3rd its on!

What's Your Theme Song?

Last weekend I was at my friend's A-mazing wedding in Austin. As several of my friends and I were riding back to the hotel, I thew out the question "What's the theme song of your life". We all pondered for awhile and then provided our answers. I realize that in different stages of your life, you may have different songs that ring true of where you are on your journey. Last week my answer was "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga. The song totally expresses not letting things getting you down, and just dancing away your troubles. It also reminds me of a dear friend, we spent hours jamming out to that song in the car.

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmmJust dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmmJust dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-danceDance, dance, just, j-j-just dance

Tonight as I was on the treadmill I realized that I had a second track to add to my "life album". This week my theme song is "She Wolf" by Shakira. I feel awfully vibrant and on the prowl. Hopefully this weekend I can release my inner She Wolf! LOL!

Sitting across a bar, staring right at her prey. It's going well so far, she's gonna get her wayNocturnal creatures are not so prudentThe moon's my teacher, and I'm her student
To locate the single men, I got on me a special radarAnd the fire department hotline in case I get in trouble laterNot looking for cute little divos or rich city guys that just want to enjoyBut having a very good time and behave very bad in the arms of a boy
There's a she wolf in the closetOpen up and set her freeThere's a she wolf in your closetLet it out so it can breathe

What's your theme song??

Getting the Apartment Boyfriend Ready

Some people nest, some people spring clean, today I got my apartment boyfriend ready. You might be wondering what exactly your apartment has to do with being "boyfriend ready".

When you live alone it is very easy to come home, dump your shopping bags on your countertop, leave your flip flops by the tv, and occastionally consider dusting and or windexing your picture frames. To some this may sound like I'm simply a slob, but its really the opposite. When you are single you are so busy going to happy hours or pool parties or as of late weddings, that you are barely home. You don't have more then a hour between social engagements to get home and really deep clean. At the same time you don't really care that there are magazines stacked up on the desk, because you will not be home and more importantly NO ONE IS COMING OVER. Sure, occasionally my mom will stop by, or a friend will run up to my apartment; but for the most part no one comes over.

I always know when I am ready to open my heart and the possibilities to a boy, when I start to feel the need to deep clean. So that is what I did today, got the rubbber gloves out and got it done! My apartment is now an oasis of domistic sensibility. Tomorrow I will finish it up by adding some new plug ins and crisp clean candles. I wonder who my first mister visitor will be???



What I needed to hear this week...

Too Intuitive

It's good for a counselor to be intuative in her field. To know and have a sense when something iis unsettled for a client, but its another thing when she has that feeling about her own personal life- especially in dating.

Having that unsetteled gut feeling can lead to converstaions that need to be had; and being open and honest is something that is often tricky the first few weeks of knowing each other. You don't really know that person well enough to gauge how they will react, and you definitely dont feel ready to say anything to rock the boat.

In my past relationships I failed at stepping up to the plate and intiating hard conversations. I just thought that I would let the guy take the lead and just push my confusion and unsettled feelings to the side. Doing nothing only created anxiety and allowed my "crazy" girl side to come out. I like the crazy girl to stay in her cage.

A friend said something that really stuck with me yesterday- that good relationships are based on trust and respect. To me respect is being open and honest.

Here we go... here goes honesty- being honest to myself and to him.

I'm shady

I've been shady from my blog lately, I know this. But its only because I have been getting my "read on". I have fallen under the spell of Fifty Shades of Gray. For those of you how know me, you know I am not a big reader (though I must brag and say that I also have just finished The Hunger Games trilogy). This book makes Peeta and Katness look like a first grade romance. This book is so addicting that I have been losing numerous hours of sleep;  I simply cannot stop reading. The mystery of Mr. Gray and the tourtured soul of Miss Anasastia Steele keep me flipping the pages into the wee horus of the night, waking up with puffy eyes and planning our my next allotment of reading time. I admit, there has been one Friday night that I even chose to stay in so that I could read about fifty.

I believe this book has been bringing women together. I know my co-workers, friends, and even moms of my students have been caught debating the dynamics between the relationship of Christian and Ana. Text messages with phrases from the book have been passed from person to person, and book covers have been made so that the reader feels comfortable diving into the pages in public.

I can't wait to attend my book club's meeting this month. I know the converstaion will be getting a bit steamy!  

Thanks for the memories...

I think I have become asexual.... seriously. I keep going on dates, but lately there has been no "spark". I keep meeting decent enough guys, but there always seems to be some flaw. I'm starting to miss the days of being soooooo excited about seeing a boy and anticipating the first kiss. Now its more like "great he called... do I have to kiss him goodnight?". What is going on here people????? Yes, I still like men... but I have yet to find a man to actually like.

The past three weeks I have been talking to another new boy... we shall name him ER (since that is where he works). ER had great potential. He is a born and raised Dallas boy (from the HP), went to a fancy smancy Dallas private school, only to go on and graduate from the Ivy League. He was Uptown (lived in a fabulous high rise with his own door guy) and had a kind and compassionate heart. He works in a pediatric ER and his love for kids won me over. We went on a date after my Italy trip and I was interested, then he was out of town, and I was out of town yet the "spark" was still alive as we texted and talked on the phone.

Last Monday he texted me at work about a "hypothetical spontaneous road trip to a casino". Both of our schedules had become so complex that there was a chance we wouldn't get to see each other any other time during the week. After texting back and forth under the supervision of my esteemed and trusted colleague, I agreed to go with him and his crew across the Texas state line to Winstar Casino for a 5 hour turn around road trip. I was super excited! This was super outside of my box to agree to go on such a spontaneous trip, crossing state lines with someone I was still getting to know. I flew home from work and threw on my best Oklahoma gambling clothes. ER came and picked me up and we met up with his cute and married friend to start our trip.

It started out well, ER had packed all the necessary road trip supplies: pillows, wine, water, and snacks. The conversation in the car was flowing, and I was genuinely thinking this was going to be a fun time. I was getting along with his friend and got to know more about ER's past.

When we got to the casino and his friend split off for his poker tourney, the fun ended. He turned lame and dull. He didn't have the same energy of someone who coaxed me into going on this exciting Monday night road trip. He had nothing to say, and what he did have to say I didn't really care to hear. I don't know if he was trying to gauge my interest or what, but he kept bringing up how he was still interested in some other girls. It was bizarre. I told him that generally you don't talk about other people you are dating while you are on a date; and that he didn't owe me anything, that we were there to have fun and see if there was any potential between us. After dinner his friend was done losing his money and we got back in the car to head home. ER literally put his head on the window and didn't speak the entire hour drive back. His friend and I however carried on a fabulous conversation (seriously, the good ones are always taken). When we got home he took me back to my apartment, and I said the routine "I had fun, talk to you later" goodbye. Though in my head I was really thinking "I really didn't have that good of a time, and really I'd be ok if you didn't call".

ER proceeded to text me the next day and thank me again for going with him on the trip. I replied and thanked him for the invitation. I think he could tell I was over it, and over him. I have no desire to give ER another chance. He was a nice guy, but one of those guys who was too smart for his own good. I need someone who can be laid back and fun when you are at a freakin casino!!!! Not someone who becomes a bump on a log and wants to have intense conversations about hypothetical relationships.

I do have to thank ER though. He helped me cross TWO things off on my 30 by 30 list- go on a spontaneous road trip and go gambling. So I guess the whole relationship wasn't for nothing.

I don't think there is anything wrong with me. I think I am just at the point where I am comfortable with who I am and where I am in my life. I don't necessarily need someone to complete me, I am complete on my own- but it would be fun to have someone to share my life experiences and build a future with. I know with all my heart that when I meet the right guy, my heart and my head will be ready. Not to mention the though of kissing him won't totally oogey met out!

On to the next one!

The Boy With the Dragon Tattoo

No "The Boy With the Dragon Tattoo" isn't a new novel, it is the last guy I went on a date with! It all started out so normal, yet ended as a hot mess.

(Tattoo is not actual tattoo from boy!)

The Boy With the Dragon Tattoo aka TBWTDT and I met on Match. We were emailing for about a week, and then decided to meet up on Friday night. I was pretty excited because on paper he met all my criteria. He had a masters in accounting, was from Texas, owned a house, and had a great sense of humor. He suggested that we meet up for dinner, and I told him that I felt more comfortable meeting up for a drink before committing to dinner. (I am a firm believer that dinner is wayyyy too much for a blind date, drinks gives you an out if they are psycho/ugly). We decided we would meet up at a local Dallas hotspot, The Loon. I got there a few minutes early and sat in a booth. That is when TBWTDT had his first STRIKE.... he was 15 minutes late. He texted and said he was running a few minutes late, which I thought would be like five minutes...but no, it was longer.

When he walked in the door, I instantly thought he was cute and sat up a little straighter in the booth. He was tall, dark, handsome, and dressed nicely in his work clothes. We instantly jumped into conversation, and he got pretty deep really fast asking me about my previous relationships and why they didn't work out. For me the past relationship talk is more of a second or third date conversation, not something you bring up in the first 20 minutes of meeting someone, but I went with the flow and disclosed my past.

Things were still going ok and I was still vibing on him, when I made a comment about a girl at the table next to us who had a whopper tattoo on her back. Typically this is not something you would see in the uptown scene. He kinda paused and said he had a tattoo.

Disclaimer: I am not a tattoo snob. I acknowledge that some people choose to permanently ink their body, however this is something that I could never commit to! I am way too indecisive to decide which outfits I like, more less something that would permanently be on my body for the rest of my life!

I asked him about his tattoo and he said he had a dragon on his back. I told him about my disclaimer and then he divulged more. Not only did he have one tattoo of a dragon, but really it was two dragons fighting. I just kinda laughed and was like "ok that's cool, but why didn't you just say that to begin with". A few minutes later he shared EVEN MORE about his tattoo and how actually it was more like a scene of two dragons on his back that went from his waist all the way up to his back. STRIKE TWO! I instantly had a visualization of TBWTDT at my family's Annual 4th of July party. I imagined him in the pool playing with my nieces and nephew with a big ol' tattoo showing to my conservative family. Then he continued to say that eventually I would get to see his tattoo... greeeeeaaattttt I thought!

I decided that I would really try to think outside my box, and not judge a book by its dragon tattoo cover. So I agreed to go with him to another location to continue our conversation and grab another drink and dinner. We went to the next location and the first thing he did was reach into his pocket and pull out a cigarette. He also continued to smoke in front of me as we were leaving. STRIKE THREE... I think smoking is gross, and I can't imagine dating a smoker. I hate the way it smells, and think its not a healthy choice. TBWTDT didn't even try to hide this nasty habit from me on the first date. At least respect a girl enough not to smoke in front of a girl you are trying to impress. Plus I was kinda upset that he didn't put on his Match profile that he was a smoker.

After the date I really had to think about things. Is the reason I'm single because I am too judgemental? Should and would I give TBWTDT another try? Maybe the reason I was single is because I have too high of standards.

I talked with several of my friends that weekend and they all agreed that this guy did not seem like the guy for me. I though they were probably right; while I could probably get over the tattoos, I don't think I could marry a smoker. You can't change people, and have to accept each person as they are. I couldn't wrap my head around accepting the boy with the dragon tattoo.

He continued to text me and try to set up another time for us to hang out, it got to a point where it was just annoying. It was very annoying when he kept texted me about taking Saki shots  and then asked me how my day was when he knew I was at my grandmother's funeral. This boy simply wasn't for me. Today he texted me and asked me if I was back from my week long trip to Italy, which I am. I could tell he wanted to set up another date, and I decided this past week when I was in Italy that I needed to be honest with him. For the first time in my life, I had to be the bad guy and break this relationship off.

I thought of how the last guy texted me and said he wasn't interested, and remembered the sting. I knew it sucked to be the reciever of that text, but I couldn't keep letting TBWTDT think he had a chance with me. So I did it. I replied to his text and tried to break it to him gently, saying that I didn't have time to pursue this relationship with him. He responded and said what I really meant, that I just wasn't interested in him... which is the truth.

When you like someone, you make time for them. I couldn't visualize myself dating a guy with a back inked up who smelt like smoke. Maybe that's judgmental, but he wasn't for me.

And the countdown begins!

Yesterday was the 10,833rd day of my life aka my 29th half birthday. I am offically six months away from my 30th birthday...So much to do and so little time!

When I was nine I would have never thought that at age twenty nine that it would just me living in a apartment in the big city, watching the bachelor, and content. I thought I would follow in my mother's footsteps- get married to my college boyfriend after graduation (would have helped if I had a college boyfriend), move into a house in the 'burbs, and have my first child at age twenty four. Well honey, twenty four has loooooonnnng come and gone, and there are no babies that I call my own (thank goodness). When I think about how I spent my twenties, I can honestly say that I didn't hold back. I played hard, had many nights I can't remember with friends I'll never forget, lost myself and evloved into a new and improved self, and really confirmed my faith with God. If there is anything I have learned this last year in my twenties its that being single is NOT the end of the world. I have accomplished so much, and I feel like there is still lots of stuff to do and see. I now know that I do not need a partner to do these things- however, if Mr. Right were to come around, I would totally let him partake in the fun!

It's time to go full force on my 30 by 30 list! I have crossed off some things, but I still have so much to do! So don't be surprised in the next 181 days, if you dear friends get a call and invited to help me cross something off my list! Here is what I have left to accomplish- WHO'S IN???

-Go on a sail boat

-Take a cooking class

- Blog more (lucky readers)

- Go gambling

- Host a party

- Learn to make a signature dessert

- Shoot a gun at a gun range

- Play a round of golf

- Add some Tory Burch to my closet

- Take a spontaneous road trip

- Attend a formal in the Dallas social scene

- Get my private practice license for counseling

Sunday Blues- possible cure

It's been two Sundays since my last entry about having the Sunday blues. I wanted to report that I think I have found part of the cure...ZUMBA! For the past two Sundays I have been going to the 5:00pm Zumba class at my gym. I really like how the class is later in the day (which allows for sleeping in, brunch, shopping, and a nap). My instructor Shally inspires me enough to burn 600+ calories every class. It's the perfect end to a weekend, and the perfect start to a week. I feel enegized, complete, and connected. There is nothing better then shakin' it with 10 other girls on a Sunday afternoon.

Reflection in the City

Today was one of those days, I was tired, hormonal, and overall just in a blah mood. It should have been a fun day, work actually had the potential of being fun- a lil errand to Target, a cake for Counseling Week, Panera Bread for lunch, and some silly kids. Instead it was me being in a emotional coma. I was going through the motions of the day but wasn't really living them.

On the way home I wanted nothing more then to get a bag of Doritos, watch some tv, and go to bed at 8:00. I had told myself that I was going to do some sort of physical activity. So before I could talk myself out of it, I laced up my running shoes and hit the pavement. I quickly was reminded of why I enjoyed strolling the streets of uptown. The simple sounds and sites of the city calm me.

I saw hotties clinging the ball at the softball field, uptowners walking their prized pets, and people enjoying a beverage on the patio.

Even though it was a dreary day both outdoors and in my soul, I instantly felt refreshed after 45 minutes of being in the moment. So tonight I turned off my ringer, and just really listened to my heart. I don't want to be in this meloncholy mood, I want to sieze the day and live every moment.

Life is too short not to be living in it!

I'm not settlin'

My oath

Sunday Blues

There are lots of reasons why I loathe Sundays- having to go to work the next day, the last day of the weekend to sleep in, grocery shopping, ironing, oh and the ever so common problem of nothing being on tv. But lately I have been hating Sundays more then usual. Sundays for me have become days of solitude, and I don't like it. Somehow around 2:00, I make my way back to my lil cave of an apartment, get online, start up my DVR and get trapped into a feeling of it just being me.

Sundays are a day for relationships, and definitely when a single person feels the most alone. I remember the best part of the past two years was hanging out with that special someone in your life on Sunday afternoons. Shopping for groceries, going to a low key dinner, and then relaxing on the couch together... that is what makes Sundays quaint. I didn't realize until today how much I miss having someone to end the weekend with. Sundays used to more of a fun day, because you had one more day to spend time with the one you cherish most.

Watching "It's A Brad, Brad World" and being on Match.com looking at thousands of pictures (most of them not attractive) doesn't have the same vibe. It definitely doesn't make you feel warm and tingly inside! Lol! Instead you feel more alone and reach the verge of feeling somewhat depressed. So how does a singleton get out of this Sunday funkday? How does being solo on a Sunday become fun again?
Should I start a Sunday Singles Support Group (SSSG)? 

To my married friends- sit on the couch tonight and hold hands with your boo when you are watching tv. Appreciate that warm body next to you.
To my single friends- call a sister up, let's go do something!

Stay tuned for my new mission in life- Making Sundays Fun Again!

Give to the poor

Justice served...

Last night I had a date with the lawyer boy aka Justice. He had texted me on Monday and wanted to set up a date {for those of you who have been following, you will remember he had set up a date with me last week and then had to cancel for work}. We agreed that Wednesday night would work at 8:00 at Prime Bar. I don't typically go out that late on a week night, but it was just for a drink so I figured it wouldn't keep me up past my weekday curfew! lol.

I arrived early to the bar and decided to go ahead and snag a comfy booth in the back. I sat there and looked over the wine list, and then texted to tell him my location. I peered up from the pages of the drink book, to find him seated next to me. He didn't look as thin as his pictures (which was actually a good thing, because he looked kinda scrawny in his pics), but overall matched up to his profile. We started talking, and somehow I took the lead in the conversation. Usually I like to ask the questions, and let the guy take off with the stories. This time was different, but I just assumed he was a little more shy than my new found boldness. We hung out for an hour, he paid the tab, and we walked to our cars. We did the casual hug and I said I had a good time and for him to call me later. In online dating code this means- I didn't just say bye... so I don't think you're a complete freak.

I came home and thought about how it went, it was an ok date overall. He was definitely someone I would give a second chance... that is until Mr. Justice served me... with a TEXT! 

On Tuesday I told all my girlfriends that I was alive after meeting up with my first Match.com date. I told them it was good, and that I hope he called again so we could get to know each other better. Little did I know that I would be served later on that night. I was casually sitting on my couch after a long day and drinks with co-workers, flipping through the channels, when I got a text. I noticed it was from Justice and admittedly sighed because that meant that he was interested. Boy was I wrong. His first text said "hey" (this was when I got giddy) then it was followed up with "It was nice to meet you last night but I didn't feel like we really clicked. Good luck!" (this is when my heart sank into my stomach).

I couldn't decide if I should laugh or cry. I chose to cry. It wasn't that I was set on Justice, it was just the fact that no one likes to be rejected, especially in a so in your face manner. I prefer the rejection a little more non directly, you know when the guy just never calls you again.

Rejection always stings, but it really stings when you are already vulnerable. This had been a really shitty week (yes I said shitty) both personally and at work. I already felt like the last single person alive at a baby shower the previous Sunday, and now I had it in writing (or at least that's how it felt). I wondered why I kept putting myself through this, why did I keep opening my heart for the chance of finding love it seemed all I was doing was bruising it. I texted some dear friends and told them what had happened, they said to delete the message and move on, it was his loss. As teared streamed down my face, I got in bed and closed my eyes. I told myself "tomorrow is a new day".

Today was a new day. I felt so much love and support from my friends who I had told about Justice (shout out to Lil G for my chick music- the new Kelly Clarkson cd). I met with one of my co-workers for breakfast and we laughed as she shared her stories from her 148 dates she went on this past year from Match. On her 149th date she met the man of her dreams. She inspired to me keep going even though sometimes the dating game gets old. I have to remember that each first date is one step closer to finding my Mr. Right. One day there will be a first date that will lead to my last.

Till that day comes, stay tuned dear reader... Justice of this heart will be served when I find the man who has the right verdict that I'm "THE ONE"!

Episodes at the gym: Cycle Class

Monday I was so proud of myself, I was finally prepared to take on the gym! I never like to go the first week of January, because that is when all the "resolutioners" start hoarding time on the treadmills. So I waited it out, and was finally ready to make my move on January 9th! I had my workout schedule all mapped out for the week, starting with a 5:30 cycle class on Monday. 

That day I rushed home from work, got my workout gear strapped on, and made my way to the gym. I got my gym card out and had it scanned for the first time in 2012. As I walked into the cycling room, I was kinda shocked to see that behind that closed door was a drill sergeant. I had never taken a class with this particular instructor, so I didn't really know what to expect. I immediately knew that this guy was really into his cycling. He was decked out in tights, had his microphone all strapped on, and had two sets of rotating lights that were pointed at his bike. I picked out a bike near the back corner (oh and by the fan) and started to adjust my equipment. There were several other people in there with the spin nazi, including a girl in her early 20's who was chatting the instructors ear off (we shall call her annoying girl). She kept praising him about how she loved his class and couldn't wait to get started. I tuned her out, and decided since I was early that I would go refill my water bottle and check out the studs lifting weights. 

As I went back to my bike, I heard someone near me say my name. I turned around only to see that the bike behind me was being occupied with a guy from my high school. Instantly 3 things popped in my head 1) wow, he looks a lot cuter then he did in high school 2) oh gosh my ass is going to be in his face the entire class 3) I'm really glad I wore a thong instead of my granny panties in these tight Nike pants. I guess the annoying girl in the class thought that he was cute, because she started to intercede in our convo. As hs boy and I were catching up she started jumping in giving her two cents about the class, and how if it was our first time that we probably wouldn't make it through the class. I looked at this girl like she was the annoying idiot she was, and took her words as a challenge. Not only did I have to prove that I was much more fit then I was in high school to this boy that I now was kinda digging on, I also had to show him and her that I could bring it! I was kinda thrilled when annoying girl sat down two cycles away from me in my row with her lil annoying friend. They were the skinny bitches I was going to beat in this spin class! I was doing it for every normal sized girl who isn't flaunting her junk around the gym! 

During the class I really pushed myself more then I probably would have on a Monday when I had cramps. Maybe it was the guy behind me riding my ass on his bike, or maybe it was the instructors personal black lights flickering in the dark room, or just maybe it was the satisfaction of letting those annoying girls know that I was just as capable as them, but I pushed through the class and enjoyed every minute of the gay man yelling at me from the front of the room. Afterwards annoying girl said to me "So what did you think? Did you survive?". I looked at that skinny bitch and said "I loved it, it was fun, I can't wait to do it again next Monday. Hs boy will you be here?". I was proud of my answer for 3 reasons 1) It shut the annoying bitch up 2) It showed the other girls and myself that I was confident in my spin abilities 3) It let the cute boy from my high school know where I would be next Monday if he wanted to see me again!

Lessons learned from this experience:

1) Let others at the gym push you (who knew a cute boy and annoying girls would make me spin so fast!)

2) Dress accordingly: you never know when your booty will be in someone else's face

3) You never know who you may meet at a gym

4) When taking a class on the bike, don't forget your seat pad! My tushy hurts!