How to date my friends

Here are some tips for guys on how to get the "Friend Stamp of Approval" on a girl they are interested in. This information was all obtained over the past few weekends. (This goes out to you S.T.)

1. If you want a girl to like you, you need the approval from at least one of her friends.
2. Yes, you should buy her friends drinks... you're a guy... you make more (hopefully)
3. Whoops... I should mention that even if you don't drink, you should be cool with her drinking, and offer to be the DD.
4. When we go out in a group, you should bring several available friends for her single friends to flirt with. Don't have any friends? Well I suggest meeting some. 
5. Don't stalk her, its not attractive. No one likes a needy guy.
6. You should request the friend's friendship on facebook, that way we can stalk your friends to see if they are normal looking.
7. Hiding your age is not cute. Dude, it's not like you can change it.
8. We expect you to be attentive to our friend the entire time. Remember, we ARE judging your every move; especially the first meeting.
9. If you invite her and her friends to hang out, have it planned. No one likes waiting around for you to figure it out. We are girls, we like to have plans. Also, make sure you know the other people you invite to hang out. You want to make yourself look popular.
10. When we hang out, don't hit any other girls...especially not other girls who are in our group of friends!
11. Handshakes are appropriate at the beginning and the end of meeting us. We are not at the "hugging it out" stage, remember you are still being judged.
12. If you know our friend is out with her girls, please don't blow up her phone every 3 minutes. Sending one cute text is cool, but don't over do it. 
13. Be confident, but not cocky.
14. Don't pout if our friend pays more attention to us then you, remember you're the new guy here. 
15. Don't get the friend's number. That is only cool if you make it to bf/gf status and you are asking us what cut of a diamond she wants.
16. Don't text the friend to ask for relationship advice. We are not going to help you out buddy. If you are in the dog house, you've earned it, and we've already heard all about it!
17. Did I mention that having single friends for her single friends is a definite plus???
18. Eating seven hot dogs in public is not attractive, especially if its not a competitive food eating contest. 
19. Be friendly and personable. No one likes a moody mope. 
20. Be honest. We do our Google research... we will find out.

The Byron Nelson Tourney.... it's not all about the golf

Yesterday, I was lucky enough to be able to attend the Byron Nelson Golf Tourney in Las Colinas. Going to the Byron is a Dallas tradition, and definitely the scene to be in on Memorial Day weekend each year.

This year I was lucky enough to score an opportunity to not only be charitable by volunteering at a concession stand, but to be able to play at the pavilion as well.

My friend had this amazing idea to volunteer for the Dallas Lab Rescue Group at their prime fundraiser for the year. Not only did we get to save the lives of dogs by slingin' beers, but we also got to absorb all the Byron scene for free.  Our volunteer gig was fairly easy other then the other annoying volunteers. Needless to say when Preppy and I were working, everyone came to our line. Who wouldn't want to by exspensive buckets of beer from cute girls vs the old vegans on the other side of the stand. As we escaped from our volunteer shift (yes literally grabbed our stuff and ran like a bunch of high school girls), we headed to the 17th hole to do some people watching on the hill... oh and watch some golf too.


You would be amazed at some of the outfits girls were wearing at the Byron. Who wears stilettos on a golf green?? I watched numerous girls struggle to walk the course (which only made me laugh in my head). Stilettos are appropriate for indoor sports, but not for a tourney that requires walking and trekking in the greens. I also enjoyed the LV contest the Dallas women secretly had going on, you know comparing who's was larger. The only trend from the course that I find applicable is the fedora. Many girls looked rather hip with their shorts, cute tank, and straw woven hat. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I went out today and bought one to wear to the Rough Riders game and Margaritaville party tomorrow night. 

After awhile we headed to THE PAVILLION aka the party scene at the Byron. This is the acculminating event for the 20-30 something crowd. At this point in the day no one cares about par, they only care about par-tying. Preppy and I met up with some of our friends and met a few new ones. By this time I was no longer in shock of the over the top apperal, but more focused on watching 50+ year old men try to hit on 21 year olds... Hilarious! 

Some of our new friends were boys we met...duh. I became particularly fond of this Morgan Stanley guy named Sean. Sean and I had a lot in common, he went to my same college, and for the most part was hilarious. We had a good time hanging out, he complimented me on my eyes, and kept buying my friend and I beer... what was there not to like? As we stood there partying at the pavillion I realized that I started treating our hangout time as a first date...guess that is what happens when you've been on so many blind dates. I found out his parents weren't together, he grew up Catholic, was the oldest child, and flew airplanes through college. I was definitely vibing on this guy, yet there was one problem... throughout the 3 hours of hanging out, he didn't ask for my number until the very end when we were literally chasing our friends through the drunken rowdy pavillion crowd. I would call out 3 numbers at a time and he would frantically try to type them in his phone as we were moving. 


Needless to say, when my friend and I lost him in the crowd, I was a little disappointed. Only because he didn't ask for my number earlier when we weren't playing follow the leader through the post Byron party. At that point I stopped and realized this was a God thing. If it was meant to  be, then he would have heard all my digits and put them in his phone. I felt like Cinderella leaving her shoe, or the girl from the movie Serendipity leaving her number in a book that she would sell to a used book store for the boy to find. Instead of getting into a coach made from a pumpkin, Preppy and I got in a cab provided by the Byron (driving after a looong day of sun and beer is never a good idea).


Overview of lessons learned from the Byron- wear flats on a golf course or at least a wedge, don't interrogate boys upon first meeting them about their life story...save that for a date, guys should ask your for your digits within the first bucket or two of beer, cabs home from the Byron really are free and your car will still be there afterwards!

Savvy on a budget

Nothing is free these days, especially when you have good taste! For a while now I have known that this single girl needs to get on a budget and be more financially responsible. I come from a family of savers, and I feel like my negligence towards my bank account is due to some subconscious desire to rebel against my accountant father. However, I find it hilarious that many of my close friends are accountants (shout out to my bean counters). You would think by hanging out with all these numbers wise women that I would pick up good money habits. 

I have a syndrome called "itscuteandineedit" and the disease of "itsonesaleandineedit". Its because of these conditions that I spend most of my Saturdays at the mall doing my retail rituals and filling up the ever shrinking closet at my apartment.

The church I have been going to really has shown me how materialistic I am. I feel guilt when I look at my closet and it is stuffed packed with clothes. I have way more shirts then I could wear in 3 months, the majority of them worn less then 5 times. (Don't judge). 

I made major strides this month as I put myself on a earring and shirt freeze. It has been over 25 days since I have purchased either of these items; which is no easy feat for a shopaholic. Don't get me wrong, I the idea of having someone else buy a shirt for me did run through my mind.

It's not only clothes though. I spend lots of my cash flow on what some people would consider materialistic or unnecessary. The $30,000 millionaires of my day and age have put this false idea in our heads that we need to have all of this stuff, things, and services.

With my new digs in Uptown, my trips for the summer, and all the patio time I will be spending, I realized a need for actually having money to do all of these fabulous things. I have savings, but my goal is to reduce my monthly expenses so that I don't have to go into that rainy day fund. 

The past few days I have been thinking about what it is I could cut back on. Here is what I have come up with so far-

• Cancel my awesome tanning membership to Planet Tan (I had a steal rate of $49.00 for the diamond level, the workers thought I was insane when I cancelled my membership... lord knows the prices will never be that low again)
• Give up my e-dating... which I'm content with! The men they have sent me lately might as well be midgets with scales. Definitely scratching the bottom of the barrel. 
• Not stop for diet cokes or coffee in the morning
• Eat out less
• Stop purchasing bottles of wine... I need to drink my current collection so that I do not have to pay to move them in boxes! Happy Hour at my apt!
• No more shop therapy at Target...You don't need it
• Clean out my pantry and cabinets to find all the treasures I have. This way I don't double up on things I already have. 
• Only buy clothes that I absolutely need. I will try to wear things from my closet, sadly some of them still have price tags. If you know me, please compliment me on wearing the same shirt twice.
• Save on gas by not driving not driving to work (lucky for me I have summer vacation coming up!)  
• Pay for my bar tab in cash. When the cash flow stops, so does my buzz. 

This should get real interesting friends. Lets hope for good weather in the month of June. It seems the pool will solve many of my issues- it will keep me from the mall, help me maintain my bronze color, give me a location to drink my wine, and keep me from using gas! 

Weekly wrap up

This week is proof that your life can change dramatically in a week! This week was fast and furious, but filled with excitement. 

Monday- I started my high protein, no carb diet. Then went to bible study with my girls. 

Tuesday- Met with my "support group" aka several other professional counselors who meet weekly for happy hour and comradery. Went to singles service at church, then headed downtown for Top Golf with my crew. Stayed out till midnight...something I have not done on a Tuesday in FOREVER! But I was in good company!

Wednesday- Phone call from my morning buddy- who asked if I was moving apartments, to which I said no. Drove to Uptown after work, randomly went into a apartment complex, and signed a lease! Probably the most spontaneous thing I have ever done, definitely life changing! Then went to a Habitat for Humanity Group for Young Professionals, met some new peeps. Felt uptowny. Continued with my low carb diet- had only 1/2 a beer (pretty impressive I thought).

Thursday- First night of KICKBALL! So much fun! Impressed my team and myself by actually making the contact with the ball and getting on base. Met a lot of fun new people; went Uptown for post game drinks and the Mavs game. Ran into a guy I know... who decided to drunk text me at midnight saying he would come over and make out... HILARIOUS as I didn't respond. Really... that is a whole blog on itself

Friday- Date night with myself- see previous blog for details.

Saturday- Quality time with my mom. Kept my monthly saving money goal of not buying a new shirt or earrings.... however I might have bought 3 dresses, but hey I'm going to be needing those for my new lifestyle. That evening I went with my CB girls to Taste of Addison. Watched teenagers make out and college kids drink beer- we sat there sober and were transformed back to 1997 as we listened to the Third Eye Blind Concert. Note to self: If I ever go back to this festival, wine or at least eating is necessary.

Sunday- Slept in, and went to an awesome brunch with my girls. We went to a trendy local- Nick and Sam's Grill. I loved the people watching and the vibe of the restaurant; however the Dallas humidity is really killing my new hair look. Then when it was over, planned my trip to SAN FRANCISCO for the summer!  Super pumped! Not only am I going to go on a cool summer trip, but I am going to get to cross off things on my 30x30! Napa and Sonoma are going to ROCK! 

In conclusion here the wrap up- no carbs-down 5 lbs, lots of social opportunities, new apartment in the heart of all the Dallas action, growing friendships, summer plans for SA! 

Life is GOOD! So glad the world didn't end ;)

The best date ever

I just got home from the best date ever!!! It was exactly what I needed on a Friday night. There was a good food, great conversation about our accomplishments and future goals, pampering, candle light, and a movie! I spent the entire night with the person in this world who means the most to me, Myself.

A few years ago I would have hidden undercover before admitting that I flew solo on a Friday night, but these days its a sacred time I look forward to having. These days my social calendar is packed (which I adore), but sometimes a girl needs to slow down and spend some quality ME time. 

I started my night by coming home, and changing into a cute outfit. I picked up the phone and took a gamble that my favorite hairstylist would have a late Friday night appointment open. Lucky for me she did. I went to the Galleria, looked at all the pretty things (didn't buy anything, which I'm proud of), got my brows shaped (a painful threading process), and then met with my hair girl. She treated me to a ice cold diet coke, and extra long shampoo. (Why is it that someone else washing your hair feels so good?). As I sat and got my luscious flocks trimmed, we talked about all the exciting things I have had going on in my life. For a few minutes it felt like bragging, but then I started to feel good about telling her all the awesome things that are going on in my life. I realized a lot of good things had happened since the last time I had checked in with her. Don't you just love how hairstylists let you blab on and on about yourself? Lol. Part of my occupation entitles asking other people all the questions, so for once it was great to have all the focus on me!

After I was nice and relaxed from the head massage and new sleek hair, I walked around a little more soaking up all the pretty things and getting excited about new adventures. In my mind I started thinking about what I would wear on the beach this summer in San Francisco or what color nail polish I should put on for my upcoming Sunday Funday Brunch. I even looked for new workout capris to go with my hunter green (ugh) kick ball shirt! 

When I came home at 9:00, I didn't feel bad about pulling my car into the mostly vacant parking garage at my apartment complex. Instead I felt cozy and ready to unwind. I instantly changed into my baggy t-shirt and comfy pj shorts. Turned on my 86% full DVR, light a candle, and poured myself a big glass of water...yes reader, I agree a big glass of vino would be better, but I'm giving my liver a break. 

Sometimes in all the hustle and bustle you have to stop, relax, and take a break for yourself. All week at my job, I have been encouraging others to relax and make themselves a priority. As a counselor and busy girl, sometimes its important for me to stop and focus on taking care of me. In counseling we call this self care.

I encourage each of you dear readers, to treat yourself to some well deserved ME time. Whether it be a long hot shower, or nice glass of wine, find some way to be alone and enjoy. 


If you don't love yourself, no one else will either.

My mom, my hero

Today I had a great day in the city, and the best part of it was I spent it with my mom! As I was home tonight, preparing for my week, I started to think of all the great things I have learned from my mom. Here are a few-

• Blondes have more fun, and one day my brown locks will be updated every few weeks! 
• Love others unconditionally
• Be a gracious hostess. Always taking care of all your guests with a smile.
• Your brother can be your best friend.
• If you are going to do something, give it 110% the first time. 
• Keep a tidy house, you never know when you will have company.
• It's important to save your money, but sometimes its ok to spend it on things that make you happy.
• Sometimes when it feels like the world is crashing down on you, go to the mall and get a cookie.
• It's never too late to learn to run.
• Marry someone who is head over heels for you. Someone who can provide, protect, and profess his love for you. 
• You have to accept people as they are, you can't change them.
• Sometimes you have to settle, no one is ever going to be perfect. 
• Always have tea and brownie mix on hand.
• Pool time during the summer is from 3-5 pm.
• Friends are important, especially the ones that make you a better person. 
• Even when you are 50 you can still be silly.
• It's important to start your own family traditions.
• To keep trying until you get what you want, never give up.
• When you fall down, get right back up.
• It's ok to cry... even at silly commercials or cheesy TV shows
• Your mom will always be there for you, on the days you are at your best and also on the days you are at your worst.

Everyday I am growing to be more and more like my mom. I'm kinda excited about that! When I introduce people to the woman who gave me life, they always talk about how sweet, pretty, and fun my mom is. I am perfectly content becoming that lady, and try every day to be more like her!

I love you mom with all my heart!

Something Borrowed

 I just left the movie Something Borrowed... a book I had read a couple summers back. It brought out so many emotions in me, some good, some sad, some where I just laughed! I definitely recommend you reading the book or simply watching the movie. There are many ways that I am like the main character Rachel (played by a girl named Ginnifer... clearly her parents misspelled her name). 

Rachel is the smart, sweet, wholesome friend to a diva named Darcey. Rachel has the problem of never truly expressing how she feels to anyone, herself included. In the movie you see how easily she goes with the flow and trys not to make ripples in her relationship, particularly with her BFF Darcey. This main character goes through turmoil as she falls for Dex, aka her BFF's beau who Rachel introduced. 

Rachel is so relate-able to me because there are so many times I have been in her shoes. The friend that is in the shadows while her friend is confident in the spotlight. Rachel doesn't know how great she is, and downplays her value not only to herself but to men as well. It isn't until she takes a step back and that she realizes that the only person getting in the way of what she wants is herself! Our character sees that if she wants something then she has to go all in; she starts making choices for herself and not for someone else.

In the past I have found myself tripping my own two feet. It's like I would see happiness in my reach and would do something to self sabotage myself. Throughout my life I have had friends like Darcey, good people at heart, but friends who always were the star of our relationship. Of course now that I type that I think that maybe that wasn't their intention, but the pedestal I put them on so that I could put myself below them... hmm mm. This past November I took a large step back. I really started looking at what I wanted and doing exactly that. Some of my friends didn't agree with this, they didn't like that I did things that defied the norms of our relationship. Much like Rachel, I have lost some friendships that I think of every day. 

Not to spoil the ending of this movie for you... but there is a final scene between Rachel and Darcey that truly tugged at my heart strings. I could feel myself standing in Rachel's shoes and saying the things to Darcey that I feel....I'm happy where I'm at in my life, and I'm glad you're happy where you are too. 

I think one of the hardest parts of growing up in this world is looking back at friendships from your past. People walk into your life for a reason. Each person adds a lesson to your life and takes a piece of your heart. My photo books are filled with pictures of me and the great girlfriends in my life, the girls that have helped shape me into the woman I am today.

I can honestly say I'm at a place in my life where I am at peace with some of those friendships who are not in my daily, weekly, or even monthly call log. Sometimes friendships have a season, and that is OK! 

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton 

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

 

Much like Rachel... when I see their faces all I can do is smile as I think about how they helped get me to where I am today. Thank you to all the great friends of my life.

Weekly boy wrap up

TTU Boy- <3 one heart ranking

So the past few weeks TTU boy and I had been emailing. On Easter I broke it down and sent him my number. Well, little did I know that would start a flood of texts for the next two days. Generally when I'm dating someone I like to talk throughout the day through text or bbm, but this guy was blowing up my phone and I hadn't even met him in person yet! That was strike one, and a bit of a turn off. When dating someone, I still need a tad bit of mystery and game. 

We made plans to meet up Wednesday night at Ringo's Pub in The Shops of Legacy. I was kinda stoked at the location because I had been wanting to check the venue out. Between setting up the date, he send me his last name and told me to add him on facebook. So naturally I did only to be mortified that he was friends with this girl from my hometown, Heather. Heather was my little brothers friend, and was one of those girls that came from a great family yet was a complete skank. In fact I'm pretty sure the past several years I had referred to her as Skank Girl. I had a short panic attack when I saw that he was bffs with Skank Girl's husband. At that point I kinda weighed my options of not going on the date. Could I really be in a relationship with a guy who hung out with this nasty girl from my past? If TTU boy were to ask her about me, I'm pretty sure she would tell him about all the times I was rude to her and made her leave the college parties I was at... Strike two.... 

I decided to go ahead and push through with the date, maybe Skank girl had changed, and didn't realize how much crap I talked about her through high school and college.. haha yeah right...When he got there I found him attractive, but the more he talked, the more I felt like it was the TTU boy" show. He talked about his house, showed me pics of it and all the rooms he had redone on his iPhone. Then he showed me examples of his work on his phone, told me all about his business, his BMW, truck, and memorial day plans. I felt like I was an audience member listening to a highly paid speaker. I just kept smiling, nodding, and sipping on my Stella Artois. We ordered dinner, and then got into the discussion about our mutual facebook friends... Skank Girl was brought up.... Don't worry reader this part was actually a recovery moment for him. He too was not a fan of Skank Girl and in fact was relishing in the fact that his bff was in the works of leaving her and finalizing a divorce. That was definitely a interesting conversation, one that we somewhat connected on. Of course at that point he got out his phone AGAIN, got on facebook, and started showing me pictures of Skank Girl, and all of her friends that he had dated... wow... Then the bill came... now I'm always a girl who offers to pay, but I really didn't think this guy would let me. Sure enough, I reached to get my credit card, and he let me pay for my part. Strike Three, well really it should be Strike Four after the whole showing pictures of his exes thing. We left the bar soon there after, and he did the whole we will have to do this again thing. To which I enthusiastically said "yes most definitely, I had sooo much fun". WTH? Did I have fun? Not really, infact after writing this out, the date really sounds like a complete disaster. 

It took me two days and several glasses of wine the next day and painting a heart on a canvas (thank you Painting With A Twist and my favorite co-workers) to determine that I just wasn't that into him... Of course I figured this out after I tipsy texted him from my painting class. I think I did this to verify that even after several glasses of Pinot that I still didn't have any zing for him.

TTU boy offered all the right things on paper. We had tons in common, went to the same Alma mater, he had a great job, nice cars, expensive tastes, but he just isn't the one. The thought of having to go on another date with him now makes me a lil squeamish. Why is it that sometimes we so desperately want to make Mr. Wrong look like Mr. Right? I think my whole mentality with TTU boy was that he was better then nothing, and that maybe all the commonalities would bring us together. Not the case here, and I'm so glad I realized that. I'm still holding out for a guy that fills me with joy, makes me laugh, and treats me like a queen. 

A friend once told me that dating is a numbers game. You have to date a lot of guys before you are going to find the right one. I thought she was crazy, but now I am learning she is right. My old theory of the first serious relationship I have will be the one is definitely out the window. 

I know this may sound weird, but I just want to take a vacation from so desperately trying to get dates lined up in my schedule. I have this belief that the good Lord is going to put the right guy in the right place at the right time. I just need to practice more patience.