Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas Dear Reader! May your day be filled with lots of love, laughter, and optimism!

XOXO,
Savvy

How Savvy Survives the Holidays!

This time of the year really heightens emotions to those single and coupled alike. But I wanted to share how this singleton maintains a positive, cheery outlook when she is still standing alone under the mistletoe.

1) During the whirlwind of the season, I make a major effort to look my personal best. When you look good, you feel good! As Barney from "How I Met Your Mother" would say- SUIT up! Don't fall into the sloppy sweat pants trap, you know the frump clothes that even you don't like seeing in the mirror. Go for those tight Paige skinny jeans and that new set of Coach earrings you splurged for. Plus you never know who you might meet while standing in the mile long Starbucks line, or while stocking up at the liquor store.

2) Have a bottle of wine near you at all times. Not necessarily for you to drink, but I'm a firm believer that you shouldn't go to a holiday party empty handed. A bottle of wine (especially one you enjoy) is a great hostess gift. Plus if times get rough, you can always uncork that bad boy. I plan on taking several bottles of wine to a particular family Christmas.

3) Don't be a Grinch or Scrooge during the holidays; we go through a spectrum of emotions during the holidays...sometimes hourly. It's easy to get caught up in the Grinch/Scrooge spirit, but the key is to choose a more positive outlook! Chances are your life looks pretty rocking compared to other people in the world. When you feel these negative feelings coming on, turn to serving others. There are so many worthy causes in the city that need an extra hand or handout. Or better yet, brighten someone's day in your world! This is a instant turn to the feel good track.

3) Take some personal time for YOU. Spend some quite time with yourself and put things in perspective. I chose to have my holiday "me" time during a relaxing mani/pedi.

4) Be INCLUSIVE, not exclusive. This is one that has been hard for me this year. But no one likes to be alone at Christmas. This is the time of year that your attitude should be "the more the merrier"! Yes, your Cousin's girlfriend isn't your favorite person, but you should embrace her with open arms (oh and a full glass of wine).

5) When family members ask you the inevitable question- "Are you dating anyone?" have a planned out response. This is probably the holiday moment I loathe the most, it instantly can put me on the defense... Especially if those already annoying family members are the ones asking. I decided that I am going to keep my response light this year. Just a simple response of "I'm not dating anyone seriously right now".

Even as I type this I can hear my voice responding with numerous sarcastic responses such as- "no I'm not, how's your failing marriage going?" or "even if I was, I wouldn't be sharing that information with you!" But I digress... Just another chance to maintain a positive attitude and drink another glass of wine.

Overall you MUST stay in the positive. I always tell my friends "If you constantly compare your life to others, you will drive yourself crazy". Be aware of your feelings and choose a go-with-the-flow attitude. Remember the reason for the season- its not about the gifts, the food, comparing photo Christmas cards, or exclusivity; it's about the birth of our Savior. It's about celebrating Christ and all the gifts he has already given you!

Embrace your loved ones, and embrace yourself!

Merry Christmas to YOU!

Qualifying The Buyer

In this step of the game, our matchmaker wants you to really think about what exactly you are looking for in your mate. She gives us the exercise of mapping out five must haves in the areas of spirituality, physical qualities, emotional giving, intellect, and his personal finances. You are to reflect back on your previous list of winners and losers, and flip the negatives to positives. Here are my top five characteristics for each category. 

 

Spiritual	Physical	Emotional	Intellectual	Financial
Christian	Taller then 5’8	Communicates feelings	College educated	No debt
Belongs to a church	Caucasian	Warm and loving	Knows current events	Has money in savings
Has a relationship with Christ	Not petite in size	Fun to be around, doesn’t take himself too seriously	Witty and sarcastic	Spends money, but doesn’t overspend
Spiritual leader	Has hair	Wants a family	Knowledge about  sports	Donates to charity
Raised attending church with his family.	Dresses nicely	Ready for a committed relationship that will lead toward marriage	Likes to travel	Has a job and makes more than me

Then from here, you are supposed to create your Top Ten Must Haves. These are the top 10 qualities my potential boy must have. This list is very fluid and can change as you grow in yourself. The top five traits on your Ten Must Haves list are your non-negotiables; these are the things that if the guy you are dating doesn't match the criteria, you must cut loose and  set free in the dating pond.

Ten Must Haves:

1. Warm and loving

2. Communicates feelings

3.Taller than 5’8

4. Christian

5. Wants a family

6. College Educated

7. No debt

8. Fun to be around, doesn’t take himself too seriously

9. Has a job and makes more than me

10. Ready for a committed relationship that will lead toward marriage

 It was pretty challenging coming up with these final ten traits. It was also kinda scary once I looked at them all typed out. By listing some of these traits, am I cutting down my possible pool of men? Or am I just cutting to the chase and not wasting my time with guys who don't have everything I am looking for? I know that I could never date someone who wasn't taller then me; not because I am a size-st, but because I wouldn't feel confident in my own skin. I do believe its important for someone to have the same value system, and be able to express themselves and how they feel about me. I don't need someone who is all mushy gushy, but I definitely want someone who is loving and kind to others. My ultimate goal in life is to have a family of my own, so I definitely want to date someone who shares the desire for marriage and children. The best gift the Lord could have given me is my cherished mom, dad, and brother. I want to expand that love, and give my family the same care and upbringing that was bestowed on me. 

So there we have it- Savvy's Must Haves in a man! Now dear reader, I want you to save them to memory... and for goodness sakes bring me someone who meets that criteria!!!! According to the Millionaire Matchmaker, I need to be creating a pool of eligible men from my friends/family/ and acquaintances. THAT IS YOU! Get going cherished reader, find me a match!

The Twilight Zone

Sometimes the best weekends are spent with your best friend, pizza, coke, comfy clothes, oh and the ever so common vampire and wolf. My friend Rhinestone Cowgirl (who needs to update her blog) and I had Twilight fever this weekend. It all started when we were sitting at Prime Bar (a posh new venue in Uptown) watching our Red Raiders lose it all to Baylor. We decided the drinks weren't doing it, and that we didn't really feel in the mood to talk to any of the playboys who were surrounding us. So over pizza rolls, we started to discuss our new obsession... Jacob and Edward. We frantically got on our phones as we realized we had not seen the third movie in the series- Eclipse. Did you know that you can no longer rent Eclipse, and that AT&T and Time Warner Cable do not allow you to buy it "On Demand" either? We found this out after several calls into our local cable providers and fast safari research, naturally at the pizza place. It was when we were about to give up the Rhinestone had a light bulb go off in her head- Target Two Day Black Friday Sale. After a call into Target to confirm their extended holiday hours, we hopped in the Lexus and scurried over to the "ghetto' Target of City Place (a store that has 2 police officers in front at all times... and admittedly I get nervous shopping at in the day light!!). Once at the store our mission impossible was complete, and at the Black Friday price at $5.99 (we won't get into how Cowgirl was mad that it was not $2.99). Till the wee hours of Sunday morning, we learned more about the epic tale of vampires and wolves fighting for the love of Bella. The fun continued on Sunday as we finished our girl time at the movie theater watching "Breaking Dawn... Part 1". 

It wasn't really the vampires or my new love for Jacob that made the weekend so relaxing and fun. It was simply being with my friend and not worrying about anything else that is going on in the world today. For a few hours we laughed and giggled at ourselves for being so caught up in the drama of this fantasy world. Between our drooling for Jacob and snickering at how crazy the story line was, we were able to share our dreams and our goals. For one weekend it wasn't about being caught up in the scene, or getting dressed up, or chasing after the next best thing. It was simply two friends who were obsessed with a saga, a saga that for once didn't involve our "human" life drama. 

This one is for you cowgirl!

Step Two: Mirror, Mirror

According to the Millionaire Matchmaker, Step Two of finding my perfect mate is looking at myself on the outside. While this is a harsh reality, when it comes to attracting the right person, whats on the outside DOES matter. 

I know that I am a cute girl, who is well put together, but I know there is room for improvement. It seems that over the past few months I have let the best of my emotions get to me. You see, Savvy is a emotional/stress eater. Today I made a first step in getting on track physically/mentally. I took the plunge and attended a Weight Watchers meeting. I was kinda surprised to see how many size 6, 8 and size 10 girls were there. I'm not lying when I say there were several young, attractive girls in my meeting. I made quick friends with these girls and we made an agreement to attend the same weekly meetings. I do much better at taking care of myself when I have someone/something to hold me accountable. Weight Watchers is a program that is do-able for me, and can keep incorporate my social lifestyle. I know that I feel more confidant as a woman, when I feel good on the outside. My skinny jeans are not currently making me feel too skinny. How can you attract a man if you feel like a roly poly?

The book also discusses several outer personality profiles aka the energy a hot woman exudes. The profiles include: Cute and Perky, The Girl Next Door, Sexpot, Exotic, Intellectual. I think I have been all of these at one time- well maybe this white girl hasn't ever been exotic.But, I think when it comes to being my attractive outside self that I fall somewhere between Cute and Perky and the Girl Next Door. When I meet guys I am super friendly and upbeat, but I'm also pretty down to earth and able to talk about anything from sports to Family Guy. 

When you feel good about yourself on the outside, you exude a sexy confidence that no one can deny. I know that I need to spend some time building myself up by identifying my positive assets and working on the areas that could use a little improvement. This chapter made me realize how ready I was to start feeling strong, sexy, and confident again! The better I feel about myself on the inside, the more likely I am to strut it on the outside!

Step One: Dating Detox

I started my journey of becoming my own matchmaker yesterday. Step One according to Patti Stanger is detoxing yourself from dating for 30 days. That is going to be incredibly easy for this lady!! Lol! So for the next thirty days I will be going through a dating detox and truly figuring out what I want. (If you have been following Savvy's dating, you will know that I have just previously come off my a non dating binge, but to be honest I think I can use another 30 days of focusing on me.) 

In stage one, I am to focus completely on myself and figure out exactly what I'm looking for in a potential mate, as well as what makes ME happy. So I followed the matchmaker's advice and have been focusing on myself. This week I have had a piece of red velvet cheesecake, a glass of wine, a bubble bath, a makeover at the MAC counter... and that is all in the first day of my detox. Needless to say I am pretty relaxed and happy right now. Happy enough to focus on me and allow myself to visit those past relationships that didn't work out.

What I like about this book so far is that Patti gives you homework assignments to focus on what you really want. In chapter one I participated in two different assignments. Below is my homework assignments.

Homework-

Make a list of your five most recent boyfriends. Write down the top five things that attracted them to you at first (the best of them) and made you stay with them as long as you did. Then write down their worst traits (aka the worst of them).

Mr. Social-

Best: Same Alma mater, liked to be around a lot of people/socialize, lived the Dallas lifestyle, was very complimentary of me, pursued me.

Worst: Too gushy, always wanted to be with other people, flashy with his money, was friends with LOTS of girls, I couldn’t bring myself to kiss him

D-

Best: Good Christian Guy, very chivalrous, liked to spend time alone- walking in the park, coffee, trivia, financially stable, SUPER CUTE, communicated about relationship

Worst- stressful job, dry sense of humor, wasn’t a big texter/phone caller, new to Dallas- still exploring

Mr. Wrong-

Best: TALL dark and handsome, laughed and was goofy, enjoyed spending time alone at home, texted/communicated throughout the day, money wasn’t an issue

Worst- Pothead, couldn’t DTR (aka define the relationship), didn’t like being social with a big group, traveled A LOT, no family life

 West Tex-

Best- friends first, used terms of endearment in a cute way “babe”, liked to goof around, financially stable, family life

Worst- long distance, very moody, had to build him up all the time, didn’t want to live in the big city

Toad

Best- same upbringing (went to high school and college together), TALL, social, was a dork, same long term goals

Worst- couldn’t commit, didn’t want me to interact with his friends, cheated on me, lead me on, drunk

Next assignment: Name a person (can be Hollywood) that you admired in a relationship. Tell why you would and wouldn't want to be with that person. 

Person I would like to have a relationship with: MARK DARCY! (Bridget Jones)

Five reasons why I’d like to be with a guy like that

1)      He is a dork.

2)      He accepts Bridget just the way she is.

3)      He has a great job, and family is important to him.

4)      He is tall, dark, and handsome

5)      He would do anything for Bridget.

Five reasons why I wouldn’t want to be with a guy like that

1)      He almost lost Bridget, because at first he didn’t pursue her.

2)      At times he seemed unsure about himself.

3)      Mama’s boy

4)      At times too reserved

5)      High status job

Summary of what I am looking for: Someone who doesn't take himself too seriously, enjoys being social with family and friends, holds his values high, is above 5'8, and loves me more then just his best friend. 

I know this may sound bizarre, but after writing all of this out yesterday, I felt a step closer to being at peace. Today I woke up with a whole new attitude, and appreciated my past for leading me to where I am today. I really do know what I am looking for now, and I can't wait for Mr. Right to appear. 

Now for Step 2- Mirror, Mirror... time to look and feel the part of fabulous!  

Becoming My Own Matchmaker

Through the years I have been a fan of BRAVO's "Millionaire Matchmaker". Patti Stanger, the star of Millionaire Matchmaker always has witty, yet heartfelt advice singles finding their perfect mate. I watch her on my DVR, and I read her daily tid bits of advice on twitter... and now I am reading her book "Become Your Own Matchmaker- 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate". 

I was 31 pages into my new found dating bible today when the idea arose- I should totally blog about my experiences with this book. In Miss Stanger's book, she provides the single reader with lots of self exploration homework. So yes lucky reader, you are going to get to journey with me through the 8 steps! Together we will analyze my "matchmaker homework", and see how I pull these 8 "EASY" steps together. 

This is going to be quite an exciting ride! HERE WE GO!

I am thankful... days 15-24 haha

Ok obviously my daily "I am thankful" has been an epic fail. So I thought I'd just make a quick list to catch me up and take me all the way to Thanksgiving! Here are the things I am thankful for in no particular order of importance:

Having a job even though at times I wonder (lol), my Brita water filter, the Dallas Galleria, my iPhone, the instant entertainment that Facebook/twitter provides on my phone, Costco samples, 30% off of sale items at J Crew, calls from my brother, time spent with my DVR and warm throw blanket, when someone you don't know that well tells you how skinny you are looking, hugs, a piece of dark chocolate at 3:00pm....

I am thankful- Day 14

Today I am thankful for my health. I appreciate my body and all the things it does for me on a daily basis. I love the fact that I am able to push it each day on the treadmill, and that its appearance makes it me. I am unique, I am a individual, I am me. I know that there are times I do not treat my body as a temple, and I know for me that is a daily struggle. I need to remember to thank God every day for giving me a clean health slate at this point in my life, and I pray that this trend will continue.

I am thankful- Days 11, 12, and 13

I know, you think I am slacking from my thankfulness, but Savvy was on a roadtrip this weekend. More details in a follow up blog! Here are the 3 things I am thankful for today-

11. I am thankful weekend road trips! Sometimes you just need a break from the mundane day to day activities. Sometimes getting far from home can clear your mind and "reset" your thinking.

12. I am thankful for having a wonderful place to live. I love living in my comfy apartment in the city.

13. I am thankful my parents finally broke down and got text messaging. I love my daily morning texts from my mom, they get my day started in a positive way! :)

Thank you note

To the fifty year old man in the Cadillac at Racetrac,

Thank you for your outstanding courtesy this morning at the gas pump. Even though I pulled into the side of the pump station first I appreciate you pulling all the way PAST your pump, and then waving at me to stop pulling forward towards mine. You were right, I didn't really need those extra three feet next to my pump to get gas. I mean after all, you were there AFTER me and totally deserved 3/4 of the station. I was nothing but a mere chic in a Solara and you Mr. Racetrac were in a daddy caddy. No worries, I didn't mind having to give up my spot at the pump and have to find another stall to get gas. I also really appreciated how you cowardly pulled out of the pump and went the opposite direction of my stern glare and waving hands.

Thank you Mr. Racetrac for your chivalry at the pump.I know your caddy status makes you believe it is your God given right to rule the pump. But if that were the truth then I guess you wouldn't be pumping regular gas at the Racetrac in Carrollton.

Xoxo,
Savvy

I am thankful- Day 10

No I am not an alcoholic but I am thankful for wine. There is nothing better then the tastefulness of meeting a friend up for a glass of vino, or planning a trip to visit a winery. For me it's not about the mellow mood that wine brings to the table, but the social warmth attached to it. Cheers to vino, and keeping girlfriends together!

I am thankful- Days 8 & 9

I admit, I slacked off yesterday on my Thankfulness. Here are the two things I am thankful for-

1) I am thankful for this season of being single. This past year has taught me so much about myself. I'm enjoying every moment of sleeping on both sides of the bed (without some snoring man next to me), of making my own agenda, and that every night can be a girl's night. I know one day my life will change and I will no longer be a "singleton" but a couplet. As much as I anticipate a relationship full of love, I am truly loving these days of fully loving myself. Being selfish never felt so good! 

2) I am thankful for whomever invented photography. Nothing can put a instant smile on my face like when I gaze at all of my photo frames. Each picture has such memories and emotions tied to it. I love being able to capture a memory not only in my head, but also on paper.

I am thankful... Day 7

I have been very blessed this past year. Through my heartaches and struggles I was lead to a deeper relationship with Christ and added four beautiful ladies in my community group ( kinda a fancy title for a bible study/church group) to my life. Tonight one of the girls brought a thought provoking question "what would you have if you woke up tomorrow and only had what you thanked God for today?".

Gosh, what a great question! There is so much that I am thankful for, much deeper then what I have written about the six previous days.

Today I am thankful for Jesus Christ. He took the weight of all my sins and gave me life. Each day is a blessing. I am thankful that I have found peace with my salvation, and that I am able to whole heart-idly accept Jesus Christ as my savior.

Growing up this is not something I ever expressed, it was just assumed by my upbringing. I am very thankful that my broken roads lead me to a eternity, one that I finally feel confident in sharing and declaring!

I am thankful- Day 6

Today I realized how thankful I am for living close to my parents. I love living close to home and being able to "retreat" there. There is no place in the world as comforting as my childhood bedroom. Seriously, when I go there I sleep like a baby (even in a earthquake...yes that happened last night!). In my crazy world of singleness, I know that a visit home with my 'rents can always bring me back to reality and to lift me up when I need the extra boost. It also helps that I can do my "shopping" there too! Talk about full service, my parent's house offers everything from toilet paper to homemade soup to take home!

I am thankful- Day 5

I am thankful for my Alma mater TEXAS TECH. Even though Tech lost today, its really the people that I appreciate so much! Tech fans always rally for a party win or lose. We always have our guns up and don't take ourselves too seriously!

God Bless Texas Tech!

I am thankful- Day 4

Ok this is probably not the most Christian thing to be thankful for but... I am kinda thankful for karma. Here is a text convo my friend and I had today about the "mean girl" from high school.

Me: go on fb and check out her new tatoo

Friend: hold please, are you referring to that butterfly, I am single and independent tat?

Me: I thought you would enjoy that

Friend: Poor D. Tsk Tsk

Me: I'm gonna pray for her and thank karma for being a bitch

Friend: Let's not be mean and spiteful...just thankful

So yes, I am thankful that karma is a bitch and that God has a sense of humor!

I am thankful... Days 1,2, and 3

Nov 1- I am thankful for my student who brought me in my favorite candy bar from her trick or treating stash- a TAKE 5 bar! It made my day knowing that she actually listened to what I said.

Nov 2- I am thankful for my doctor and my mediocre health  insurance. I'm sure the x-rays and the blood work were needed for my gassy tummy... (talk about some expensive gas-x) but I am blessed to have medical help. More importantly I'm thankful for living so close to my parents house! After my crazy day and doctors appointment, they loved me even if I was in a bad mood. It felt nice when they acted like they wanted me to stay the night. Who can say no to homemade chocolate chip cookies, and waking up to a packed lunch (mom, you forgot my note this morning).

Nov 3- I am thankful for friend JK. When I was having a really really crumby day today, she came to my office and made me laugh hysterically. Its good to have friends who can always turn your frown upside down! Who knew prank calling people at work could be so much fun!

My self help homework assignment- almost due

So I gave myself a crazy assignment 3 months ago- to take time off from dating and focus on myself. Well in typical slacker style, I have been doing everything but focusing inward. I have been too busy focusing on outward things. Now its November 3rd and I have 8 days to bring it all together. Just like my students at school, I procrastinate until the deadline is on the horizon. 

I feel like my body is telling me to hibernate these next few days and devote some quality time to some introspection. I still have the ginormous task of defining "what I want" and "who I am". I feel very close to having the final pieces to the puzzle, but really need to close off the doors to the outside world. 

I need to "be still, trust my heart, stop the frantic search the urgent chase... just be still and all will be revealed". So for the next days to come until 11-11-11 that is exactly what I am going to do. I am going to be still and listen to my heart. I'm going to trust in HIM and rely less on myself.

Just confirm me already

Why is it that a relationship is only justified these days if it is "Facebook" official?? I keep finding myself checking my friends list seeing if my friend tally is 600+1. Yes, I have 600 friends, but its that one additional person I'm really wanting to show up on my news feed.

You see, I met this boy the other night, and things definitely had potential. After a few  jello shots and a game of flip cup, we parted ways, and sent a few midnight texts (don't worry peeps, they weren't that type of late night text!). When I finally arrived in my parking garage that night the night was a complete blur.  Not only did I have jello brain, I also had word vomit when I was talking to him at the party. I debated with my girl friend right then and there over our late night Whataburger if I should send him a Facebook friend request. My friend and I both agreed I had nothing to lose, so I went for it and pressed send. I'm sure at the time I thought it was no big deal, I had the confidence of jello behind me!

But here I sit 4 days later, constantly looking at my phone, hoping that I will get a notification saying "Franz (that is his nickname since he was dressed as a German Oktoberfest dude at the party) confirmed your friend request". What happened to the good old days when just a guy getting your number was enough to let you know he was interested? Now you also have to make the approval online? It's like double approval, double confirmation that he is interested.

This relationship is pending in so many ways now! Do I cancel my friend request and move on? Or do I just assume he is not a Facebook stalker like myself? Why oh why did I press send? 

I guess time only time will tell, but until then I am updating my pics and my wall.

You will be what you are becoming

Last night I heard the most profound line ever from my pastor- "You will be (in the future) what you are becoming (now)". This rang so true to my heart. 

Through this past year I think I have truly transformed as a person, I've become more like the person I want to be in the future. And while I'm not completely everything I aim to be, I know I'm heading the right direction. 

Sometimes you have to appreciate where you've been to better understand where you want to go. The previous year made me question a lot about myself, and made me realize I was on the wrong path... a path of low self worth and numerous bad choices.

Through lots of tears, meds, wine, church, dancing, shopping, eating, running, and alone time I think I've decided who the person I want to become. I want to be that person that is a good friend, yet takes care of herself too. I want to be a dedicated professional, who aims high, and has true job satisfaction. I want to be someone who is spiritual and can pull from the word in times of need. I want to be a good wife and mom to my future children. I want to have a mended heart so that I can fully pour into others. 

The other night I told one of my girlfriends "Every now and then you have to be proud of yourself for how far you've come." So I guess that is what I'm doing right now, patting myself on the back for pushing through towards being a better Savvy.  

One is silver and the others gold...

When I was little I was a girl scout, well I guess technically I you are always a girl scout. I remember going to our brownie troop meetings and my fabulous troop leader (my clever mother) always had us sing a song called "Make New Friends". To this day that song rings true in my head "make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the others gold, a circle is round, it never ends, that's how long I want to be your friend". 

In my 29 years I've the words of that song has been illustrated to me time and time again. Tonight I felt the comfort of true friendship. There is nothing better then meeting up with a old friend and picking up just where you left off. There is no hurt in your heart that its been 3-4-5 months since you last sat down together or picked up the phone. The two of you simply pick up just where you left off, having a glass of wine and laughing at life. I love and cherish those friends in my life, the old friendships that maintain themselves. Sure, every now and again you need a little friendship maintenance, but for the most part they are simple and true.

To all of my silver and gold friends, I love you and cherish our times together whether they be once a week or once a year! Love and AOE!