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Monday, November 21, 2011

Step One: Dating Detox

I started my journey of becoming my own matchmaker yesterday. Step One according to Patti Stanger is detoxing yourself from dating for 30 days. That is going to be incredibly easy for this lady!! Lol! So for the next thirty days I will be going through a dating detox and truly figuring out what I want. (If you have been following Savvy's dating, you will know that I have just previously come off my a non dating binge, but to be honest I think I can use another 30 days of focusing on me.) 

In stage one, I am to focus completely on myself and figure out exactly what I'm looking for in a potential mate, as well as what makes ME happy. So I followed the matchmaker's advice and have been focusing on myself. This week I have had a piece of red velvet cheesecake, a glass of wine, a bubble bath, a makeover at the MAC counter... and that is all in the first day of my detox. Needless to say I am pretty relaxed and happy right now. Happy enough to focus on me and allow myself to visit those past relationships that didn't work out.

What I like about this book so far is that Patti gives you homework assignments to focus on what you really want. In chapter one I participated in two different assignments. Below is my homework assignments.

Homework-
Make a list of your five most recent boyfriends. Write down the top five things that attracted them to you at first (the best of them) and made you stay with them as long as you did. Then write down their worst traits (aka the worst of them).
Mr. Social-
Best: Same Alma mater, liked to be around a lot of people/socialize, lived the Dallas lifestyle, was very complimentary of me, pursued me.
Worst: Too gushy, always wanted to be with other people, flashy with his money, was friends with LOTS of girls, I couldn’t bring myself to kiss him

D-
Best: Good Christian Guy, very chivalrous, liked to spend time alone- walking in the park, coffee, trivia, financially stable, SUPER CUTE, communicated about relationship
Worst- stressful job, dry sense of humor, wasn’t a big texter/phone caller, new to Dallas- still exploring

Mr. Wrong-
Best: TALL dark and handsome, laughed and was goofy, enjoyed spending time alone at home, texted/communicated throughout the day, money wasn’t an issue
Worst- Pothead, couldn’t DTR (aka define the relationship), didn’t like being social with a big group, traveled A LOT, no family life

 West Tex-
Best- friends first, used terms of endearment in a cute way “babe”, liked to goof around, financially stable, family life
Worst- long distance, very moody, had to build him up all the time, didn’t want to live in the big city

Toad
Best- same upbringing (went to high school and college together), TALL, social, was a dork, same long term goals
Worst- couldn’t commit, didn’t want me to interact with his friends, cheated on me, lead me on, drunk

Next assignment: Name a person (can be Hollywood) that you admired in a relationship. Tell why you would and wouldn't want to be with that person. 
Person I would like to have a relationship with: MARK DARCY! (Bridget Jones)
Five reasons why I’d like to be with a guy like that
1)      He is a dork.
2)      He accepts Bridget just the way she is.
3)      He has a great job, and family is important to him.
4)      He is tall, dark, and handsome
5)      He would do anything for Bridget.
Five reasons why I wouldn’t want to be with a guy like that
1)      He almost lost Bridget, because at first he didn’t pursue her.
2)      At times he seemed unsure about himself.
3)      Mama’s boy
4)      At times too reserved
5)      High status job

Summary of what I am looking for: Someone who doesn't take himself too seriously, enjoys being social with family and friends, holds his values high, is above 5'8, and loves me more then just his best friend. 

I know this may sound bizarre, but after writing all of this out yesterday, I felt a step closer to being at peace. Today I woke up with a whole new attitude, and appreciated my past for leading me to where I am today. I really do know what I am looking for now, and I can't wait for Mr. Right to appear. 

Now for Step 2- Mirror, Mirror... time to look and feel the part of fabulous!  

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