I'm STRONGER then I think I am

Tonight I came home and was all I don't feel like doing anything, blah, I'm alone, blah, I feel pudgy, blah,blah, blah. Luckily I changed into my workout clothes and went downstairs to the gym (yeah I recently moved to a sweet apartment with a "real" gym downstairs). Since the gym is literally downstairs I really had no excuse to self talk myself out of going, especially since it was 5:00 pm and my big plans of watching the Bachelorette didn't start till 7:00 pm. 

So there I am 30 min in on the elliptical, looking stalking the group fitness room trying to get a glimpse of how hard core their classes are. At 6:00 am this morning I had all the intentions of being brave and jumping into the evening boot camp class. However, the evil voice in my head talked me out of it and provided me with enough negative self talk that I felt intimidated. 

Then out of no where my "gym fairy" came pushed me to the next level. 

Gym Fairy: one who magically appears at the gym, looking magical and pixie-like, inspiring, and encouraging. One who helps you fulfill your workout wishes. 

I had previously met my new fit and toned "gym fairy" by the pool. She was hanging out with her dog post workout as I was sitting outside by the pool with a glass of wine in my hand. We started talking I mentioned that I was going to join the gym. I mean at the time I had to make this statement to the fit fairy,  after all she was toting a sports bottle and I was holding entire bottle. I guess skinny and buff girls remember that sort of thing, and want to include you in their daily gym torment when they spot you on their turf. Before I knew it my gym fairy was introducing me to the buff trainer/leader of the boot camp class, and there I was getting my weights and mat. I survived the 60 minutes of weights, balls, and running laps in the heat outside and around the building, never once wanting to quit or talking negatively to myself. Bonus: I didn't want to puke either!

As I was walking out of boot camp, saying bye to motivating my gym fairy and super proud trainer, something clicked for me.... I am stronger then I think I am. 

                                              

It's not easy being 31 and single. Some days it's really hard to keep that smile on your face and push yourself. I am accountable to no one but myself and God. Maybe it's a post workout high but I'm feeling pretty damn accomplished right now. So I'm going to take this new found esteem and brag on myself for a second. 

10 Reasons I'm an amazingly strong girl

1) I have a full time job, a part time job, and am a growing entrepreneur

2) I've been crushed, but survived. 

3) I'm able to see the humor in daily challenges 

4) Debt free even with a shopping habit

5) I can relate to anyone from a 3 year old to a CEO. Empathy is key.

6) I have to make all the decisions in my life independent of others- the easy ones like what should I cook for dinner and the hard ones like am I investing enough in my 401K or where should I live?

7) I can be alone.

8) I daily deal with people saying "you're so great, I really don't know why you're single" 

9) I am blessed with a relationship with The Lord and humbled by it at the same time. 

10) I know how to handle problems on my own, but also know when I need help from others. 

To quote Britney Spears "I'm stronger then yesterday". Stay strong my friends. 

I don't recycle

I don't recycle... guys that is. 

This past weekend I got together with some of my girlfriends and we were catching up on life. One of them shared that she is reconnecting with a guy she dated a few years back, another commenting on her off and on again relationship with a guy she doesn't see a future with. This conversation lead me to think about my eligible pool of men. 

Maybe my friends have a better relationship past, and some of their guys are Mr. Big (shameless Sex in the City reference) worthy of recycling. I know me, and I know my past, and all those guys need to stay there! I do not have any exes or guys from my past that I keep in contact with. When a relationship ends or I don't feel a spark, I end things, delete their number, and keep on trucking. To quote the movie He's Not That Into You, "It's called a break up because it's broken". I can't think of a single guy from my past dating experiences that I would even want to pursue me. Sure there were many guys that were nice enough to keep going on dates with, but if a guy doesn't peak my interest on dates 2 or 3 I set him (and myself) free. It's almost like spending your time with the second string, when you could be hanging out with the quarter back. I would rather be alone or with my friends then go on a date with a guy who I know will never lead to a relationship. 

I am interested in the kind of love that sweeps you off your feet and gives you butterflies every time you mention his name. For me, going back into my bin of discarded guys and pulling one out from the past would be a waste of my time. 

#SB14

How do you know you had a great spring break? You know it when your face is swollen from all the boozy carbs and your body is physically exhausted from all the hustle and bustle. This morning it took a lot of self-talk to get out of bed. The sun beaming in through my bedroom window was the only thing that shuffled me to the closet to get dressed for church. For educators, spring break is nothing but a big tease! Nine days of relaxing and unwinding, only to have to jump back into the daily grind again Monday morning at 5:30 am. I have my crockpot going and my meals planned out for the week. I’m really trying to refocus.

My favorite pastor JP really spoke to me this morning when he said, “If you’re too busy to pray, then you are too busy”. I am too busy sometimes to stop and smell the roses, or to get on my knees and thank The Lord for my daily blessings. This week has proven that I need to cut some things out of my life. I thoroughly enjoyed being at my apartment, getting things organized, and just mentally and physically relaxing. I’ve become a girl that doesn't like to sit at home, craving the constant social connection and being constantly on the go.  But am I still that girl? Or is that the girl I became three years ago to avoid being alone? After my break up with Mr. Wrong I jumped into every social organization imaginable (kickball, church small group, Junior League, book club, dinner club, private practice, happy hours, gym memberships, volunteering). This week off has truly made me reflect on my social calendar. Maybe it is time to SLOW down and cut some of the fluff out of my busy days and long nights. What am I running towards? Or really what I have I been trying to avoid? I think I am finally at a place in my life that I am craving and desperately in need of down time. I need to be able to come home and have nothing to do…. and more importantly not feel scared about it. I’m at that point. I am ok with it just being me. I know that in order to prepare myself for my future spouse, that I need to really spend some time with me (and God).

Now don’t go thinking in your head that I’m going to become a hermit, too much quiet would drive this girl crazy. I’m just looking to seeing some days in my Google calendar without a color-coded appointment.

Daylight Savings Time Saved My Life

Daylight savings time saved my life, well not really, but it has made me come out from a deep winter hibernation! Here is what you need to catch up on folks:

- It's SPRING BREAK #SB14 (Cue the "Ignition Remix" by R Kelly...circa SB02)
- Saturday is St. Pat's on Greenville
- I had reflexology today, the entire time not able to relax because I was having flash backs of spring breaks past
- I'm still single... yup
- I gave up dating for Lent (yes that is a real thing to give up! A blog to follow)
- I don't have a baby.... duh...but all my friends do now! 
- I may be slightly obsessed with Just Dance 2014, debating buying it to "preform" solo at my apartment nightly
- I'm somewhere between moving to the 'burbs and staying put in Uptown.
- Starting a new business adventure, scary yet exciting at the same time.
- Sleeping in till 8:30 makes me happy, so does the sun being out when I get home. 
- Wine still makes me very happy, and I would go to Napa in a heartbeat.
- I no longer eat white carbs or sugar, but I am completely happy with my new medium tops and size 10 jeans! 
- My parents bought me the largest lucky bamboo seen to man. (Thanks Costco) I'm hoping that it starts exuding its powers on me.
- I literally may be the happiest I have ever been
- I have been going to church on Sundays, even if it means sitting alone. (This is very hard for anyone to do!).
- I've become quite the chef for my friends this week.
- Juan Pablo is the worst Bachelor in history... my Bachelor Bracket with my friends proves this. 
- I'm planning a reunion trip for my sorority sisters this fall.
- I did not watch any movies that we nominated for a academy award...I lie, I did see Frozen with 625 of my students, not sure that really counts. 
- Booked a trip to Mexico in July- arriba!
- I have become addicted to boot camp, and can actually do push ups... who would have thunk it? 
- OH.... I'M BACK TO BLOGGING!