Come fly with me

Come fly with me, come fly, fly away...

It seems like everyone is counting down the days until their summer vacation..that is unless you are me. Currently I have no jottings in my calendar for any rendezvous in foreign soil. Unfortunately one downfall of being single is travel. While some single hipsters are able to fly solo, I'm not one of those people. The thought of getting on a plane and going to a unknown region alone scares the heck out of me; not to mention I would be vastly bored. I don't even know how to spend a night in at my aparment without wanting a play mate, so I definitely don't think I could handle 3-4 nights alone in a hotel room. 

Idealy I would like to find a travel companion for a trip this summer. Someone who can afford to journey to a destination and soak up all there is to offer. I'm talking being on a double decker tourist bus by day and then hitting up the local scene with a glass of wine in tow by night. 

When you're in a relationship you have a built in buddy; while when you're single you have to hope that someone will want to share you itinerary. So many of my single girlfriends have already been the places I want to go, or they are confined due to money constraints. In my family, I am the only single one, so traveling with them is out of the question as well. I can picture it now, my brother and his cute family in one room, and then me trapped in my parents room on the pull out couch listening to my dad snore. Not my idea of the quaint trip I have planned out in my head. So where do I turn to find my globe-trotting partner in crime?

There are so many places I want to see in my lifetime. 

Here are some ideas for this summer.

1. Chicago
2. Napa Valley or Sonoma Cali
3. New York City
4. San Francisco
5. Boston
6. Somewhere with a beach that is all inclusive and not in Mexico 

I have a passport, flirty purple luggage, and a budget that is ready to travel. Bring on first class!

The schedule of a upcoming socialite...

What does each upcoming socialite carry with her at all times? I would like to believe its her day planner.

Lately it seems I am constantly checking in with my lil Tiffany blue planner. This afternoon I sat down and planned out my week. Monday- spin class and then Church Group, Tuesday- LPC class, and body pump Wednesday- spin class and a potential dinner date with a friend , Thursday- Painting with a Twist, Friday- Friends' band is playing, Saturday- body pump and furniture shopping, Sunday- church and kick ball practice... The list goes on and on. The questions comes to mind, is it better to be sitting at home relaxing or keeping myself constantly on the go? I'm trying so hard to balance friends, faith, fitness, and flirting... but these two annoying things called sleep and work keep getting in my way. I have so many goals and so many things I want to do, yet it seems I am running from one caffeine high to the next. 

I guess the quick filling of time slots is a good thing, but I have to introduce a new issue... TTU boy. Yes, it seems I've found another potential suitor from EH. We have been talking for about a week, but have yet to meet face to face. It seems we have a lot in common. We both went to the same college, grew up the same religion, and are the oldest children (which could be a potential issue according to The Birth Order book). I'm really looking forward to meeting TTU boy, but honestly don't know where I can fit him into my schedule this week. 

Is this what happens when one is finally fulfilled in spending time with herself? I honestly think that the next available time slot i have for a date is sometime next week. How does one balance the 4 F's (friends, faith, fitness, and fun)????? 

I know things will work out they are meant to, but in the mean time I will keep checking in daily with my purse size planner.

Thirty by Thirty

As we were at my friend's birthday party the other day, she mentioned to me that she was planning her 30 by 30. I asked her what that meant and she explained to me that she had a list of 30 things she wanted to accomplish before she turned 30 years old. Lucky for her, she just turned 25 and has a few years to complete her twenties dream escapades. As for me I have precisely one year and four months (as of yesterday) until I hit the dirty thirty. I decided to disregard my narrow time frame and rise to the challenge of creating my own 30x30.


So for the past week or so, my friend Rhinestone Cowgirl and I have been putting time into this 30x30 list. We decided the ideas would come to us more naturally if we were sitting on a patio smack dab in the middle of the Dallas scene. So we rolled up to the Nodding Donkey and State and Allen Lounge to soak up the inspiration of the city and check out the hot young professionals. I'm sure people thought we were crazy as we intensely wrote down a list of life to do's. (Some guys next to us even listened to our brainstorming session and chimmed in. I think they were just trying to hit on us... too bad they had girlfriends...such is my life).So here it is folks... The Savvy Singleton Thirty by Thirty!

1. Buy new bedroom furniture
2. Go on a sail boat
3. Run a 5K
4. Take a cooking class
5. Wear a bikini
6. Volunteer
7. Join my sorority alumni group
8. Blog more (lucky readers)
9. Get on a budget... a serious one
10. Go to Lone Star Park for the horse races
11. Go gambling 
12. Travel somewhere out of state that I've never been (Chicago, Seattle, Boston, Charleston, San Francisco)
13. Drink a glass (or two) of Dom Periginon
14. Eat at a 5 star steak house (Nick and Sam's)
15. Play a sport
16. Host a party
17. Learn to make a signature dessert
18. Go to a Rough Riders Game
19. Shoot a gun at a gun range
20. Play a round of golf
21. Go to Blue Mesa for brunch with bottomless mimosas
22. Add a Louis Vuitton to my closet
23. Read the bible
24. Take a spontaneous road trip
25. Learn to paint
26. Attend a formal in the Dallas social scene
27. Get a plant... and make it grow
28. Go to Napa or Sonoma for a wine weekend
29. Get my private practice license for counseling
30. Plan a trip to Europe

Shop Therapy

Some people say that "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone". I on the other hand do not hop to the next boy, I simply get out my credit card. There is something about spending money on pretty things that makes you feel fabulous and look like a million bucks. Shop therapy to me is the key to getting over a ended relationship.

In November, when Mr. Wrong and I broke up, I bought myself a stylish Michael Kors purse that was the equivalent to a car payment. I didn't feel bad at all when I dropped the Nordstrom credit card down on the counter. I remember my mom just looking at me funny since I made this major purchase on a whim. But I looked at her and said I deserve to buy something nice for myself. To which she agreed, and said I could never tell my Dad how much I spent on a  purchase based on a broken heart. 

Whether its shoes, clothes, or jewelry lots of us girls cope with our sadness by buying something to make us feel value. That special something to make us smile whether it be for a week or a lifetime. When I toted my new purse to dinner, several of my girlfriends shared with me the purchases they had made post break up. Some purchased shoes, some spent too much on jeans, and others bought new panties and bras. Why is it that shopping can feel a void in our heart? Is it that we feel our purchase is a time piece which encapsulates the time we invested in our previous relationship?

In my life I feel that the more substantial a relationship is to you, the more substantial of a shopping spree one is entitled to. D and I only dated for two and a half months, so when buying my break up gift for myself, I didn't hit up the purse, jewelery or shoe department. Instead I thought of something a little more thoughtful and a little more in the budget.

I have been admiring my friend Jess's gold cross necklace for months now. I have texted her several times in the past few months asking her where she got it, because it seriously looks cute with everything she wears (Of course if you know Jess you would know that she looks cute in everything she puts on. She could wear a stained up t-shirt or a speedo and make it fashionable). My intention wasn't to purchase this new accessory to be stylish; the cross necklace means a lot more to me. For me its a sign of hope, and knowing that if I God has a plan for me. 

If I have learned anything from D, it is good guys do exist. D showed me that I deserve more then I have aimed for in the past; and God showed me that he has created this perfect man for me that I am soon to meet. 

When I finally do meet Mr. Right he better take notice of my sassy cognac Michael Kors purse and my dainty necklace, because each of them represents a relationship that didn't work out to get me to him. Let's keep our fingers crossed that there isn't the addition of new Manolos, David Yurman, or Tory Burch...Lol!! 

My bank account would really appreciate it if I could hurry up and meet this perfect man...these shop therapy sessions every few months are getting pricey!

Atleast I feel tingly...

Well friends, another chapter of my dating life has ended. D and I are no more... here is how it went down.

Even though I promised you dear reader that I wouldn't make contact this week, I did. I know, I know, it wasn't the right thing to do. But when a pub crawl for a charity event is on the line, a girl has to do something. So after talking to "my people" I decided to take the plunge and put a call into D, simply to ask him if he was still in for the pub crawl. He answered and we caught up on how things were going, we talked about how busy he was, my weekend at the lake, and blah blah blah. He said that we could hang out Friday and that he was pretty sure he could do the pub crawl.

Today he texted me around lunch time asking if I was free tonight to grab coffee and hang out. This is pretty typical of our relationship, so I agreed. Little did I know at 4:00 I would be struck with a horrible migraine. I pushed through it though, came home, showered, popped a migraine pill and put on my super cute new outfit. I met D at our coffee shop, and he looked super cute...ugh. We had coffee, caught up, and I though things were going great. We even walked to a near by shop to look around. Things felt normal as ever. Then as we are walking back towards the coffee shop he dropped it on me. He said "I think I just want to be friends". I was caught so off guard between the migraine pill and shot of caffeine that I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. So I said "what did you say..." seriously because I didn't really hear what he said, he kinda whispered it the first time. He said the horrible 7 words and my heart kinda sank... He told me what an awesome girl I was and blah blah blah.... I know this, I didn't need him to remind me, it was the last thing I wanted to hear. He proceeded to say that he still wanted to be friends and continue to hang out. I was still in shock. Then he said that he would still like to go to the charity event with me in two weeks. I am pretty sure I looked at him like he was crazy. I told him that I had other people who were interested in taking his spot, and that I didn't want to make him hang out with me any more then he already had. I think this hurt him, but at that point I didn't really care... I was high on caffeine and trying to decide if I should cry or not (which I didn't). For once in my life I just kinda said how I felt. I thanked him for the coffee, he hugged me goodbye... I gave him a side pat on the back, and went to my car. Still didn't cry. 

I just kinda felt numb inside. Maybe the migraine was a blessing. I called my girlfriend and like a awesome chick, she came and picked me up and took me straight to a bar. I ordered a beer and we talked about girl stuff. I will have to give it to D. Unlike Mr. Wrong, he was man enough to tell me how he felt to my face, and I appreciate that. He really is a good guy, and I truly wish him the best in life. I just don't want to be friends with someone that I once dated, and was romantically interested in... that is too confusing!

As my friend drove me home, I just felt numb and tingly. I'm sure it was the breakup cocktail... 

Saavy's Breakup Cocktail:

1 stressful week mixed with 1 uncertain relationship

2 Tylenol combined with one Advil from the school nurse

Add a diet coke and a long ride home from school

1 hour to get dressed and make yourself perky even though you feel like dog poo

1 prescription migraine pill added to 5 saltines and 1 sprite

1 smoking hot outfit with a banging hair day... what a waste

2 cups of coffee that the cute guy you are with bought you because the barista messed up and didn't know if you wanted a hot or iced skinny vanilla latte

1 guy telling you he wants to just be friends...

Stir in one phone call to your best friend who perks you up and is there to get you within 5 minutes of your call

Order 1 extra large Miller Light with Lime from a cute bartender, explaining that you just got dumped

Notice a hot guy across the bar that you are too scared to talk to... realize there are still cute boys out there

Fold in one car ride home where you feel so numb and tingly inside due to the medication, caffeine and alcohol kicking in, laugh with your friend

Finally, gain the knowledge that this relationship didn't workout because God has someone better for you out there...

How to lose a guy in 11 days

"We don’t need to rush. If something’s bound to happen, it will happen. In the right time, with the right person and for the best reason."

I think I need to ingrain this quote into my head...

It seems like the past two months of dating has been a world wind. When I last left off in this lil dating scenario, I was talking about how D and I were hanging out a lot and M was out of the picture. We went on dinner dates, two stepped, watched TV, had wine, spent St. Pat's together on Greenville Ave, went on walks through the park, picked my bracket for the NCAA tourney, and went on a day long adventure in Dallas together. Everything was going great, we were totally connecting, and really enjoying our time together.

After one of our dates together we talked about taking things slow because we both really liked each other. He said that he didn't want to mess things up with me by rushing in too fast. I really appreciated the upfront conversations, even though in a way they freaked me out. My relationship with Mr. Wrong was complete opposite, we had a great time together not communicating about us. It seemed that D and I had a great time together talking about us. I started to really fall for this guy and develop real feelings for him. I even started introducing him to my friends and took a big leap of inviting him to be on my date for a charity event later on this month.

That was two weeks ago, now here I am wondering what the hell happened. I have been an insecure basket case for the past week. I think I resemble Kate Hudson's character in "How to Lose a guy in 10 days", only in my case its been 11 days since I last saw D. We have texted a little bit, but nothing serious or in talks about getting together soon. I know that he is extremely busy at work right now, but I'm wondering if that is true. You see I work a 8-4 job, with no real over hours. So its hard for my educator brain to wrap itself around the idea of deadlines, bosses, and over time.

I went to the lake with my girls from work for a nice weekend or R&R. It was great other then the fact that my thoughts the entire time were on how D and I haven't seen each other. Thoughts plagued my head that he has moved on and is over me. He texted me on Saturday to my relief to tell me he was working alot, even on that day, and that we would keep in touch this weekend. So of course my stalker self texted and called him today to "keep in touch". I received a text back at this evening saying that he was super busy and not able to hang out tonight. I'm trying not to read too much into this, but its hard not to. 

How can relationships have such momentum, and all of the sudden throw on the brakes??? I am a control freak (as we all know), so I know innately I'm trying to manipulate this situation into what I want it to be. I just want him to call me, tell me he wants to see me, and follow through. I'm not ready for the title of girlfriend, I just want to know that the past months weren't for nothing. I want to know that when a guy tells me that he likes me, that I can believe it and trust him.

I think sometimes single girls just hold on to a relationship and suffocate it. I know that is what I'm doing here. I've forgotten how I want to be the one pursued, and instead have become the pursuer (aka stalker). A picture of Pepe Le Pew chasing the black cat around comes to my head!

I need to sit back and relax. For the next week I am taking a vow to you my dear reader that I am not going to initiate contact or do anything. The ball is in D's court! It scares me to give away my control, but clearly my doings are not getting me anywhere other then frustrated and upset.

 Someone once told me a relationship is like a baby chick. It needs to be held gently, because if you hold on to it too tight it will suffocate and die. What's meant to be is going to be whether its with D or with someone else. Keep your fingers crossed!

 

27 dresses...almost

Spring is in the air, the flowers are blooming, flip flops and dresses are the attire, and your mailbox is bursting with those large white envelopes. You know the ones I'm talking about, the wide white margins, with the fancy raised writing. It's wedding season people. 

On Monday I was hanging out with a group of my girlfriends and we started talking about our upcoming weekends. For most they were filled with showers, bachelorette parties, and a Saturday evening wedding. Luckily for once, this season of chaos does not apply to me.  

I  have been in my fair share of weddings- 
Flower girl for Uncle D
Junior Bridesmaid for Aunt T
Bridesmaid for my cousin Melissa
Bridesmaid for my Aunt J
Bridesmaid for my sorority sister Lisa
Bridesmaid for my friend Shelby
Bridesmaid at my brother's wedding
Bridesmaid for my friend Mags
Bridesmaid for my friend Les
House Party aka program girl for my friend Dana
Reader at my friend LaLa's wedding


So needless to say I've put in my time throwing showers, buying bridesmaid dresses, posing for photos, and attempting to catch the bouquet (which has happened on several occasions...I'm thinking that rule that you're the next to get married is FALSE). It is always a great honor to be asked to be a part of someone's special day, and I am truly glad that I have been in so many weddings. However every time I "suit up" for another wedding, I start to think about what mine will be like. What will my dress look like? How much money will I spend on flowers? And more importantly what friends will I ask to be a part of my special day? I totally like the idea of making all the for mentioned people stand up beside me on my special day, but that would be a parade of people down the aisle! I guess we will just have to wait (and wait and wait) to see what my special day will look like.


In the conversation with the girls on Monday night we talked about how sometimes relationships change when friends get married, or even when they are dating seriously. I think it would be a lie to say that things will always be the same with you and your friend after they find "the one". Naturally things are going to have to change, and that is ok! Falling in love and starting a family is all part of the life cycle; for most of us its our goal in life, to have a family of our own. It does take some adjustment and understanding on both parties (the married and single) that though your Saturday nights might not always be the same, that you can still make time for each other.

Roles in friendships change, and that is what makes life so interesting. Someone will always be in a relationship, and someone  will always be single (especially these days with the ever climbing divorce rate).  I think its important for each friend to put themselves in each others shoes and be understanding of the others situation. I wouldn't think it was cool to invite my friends with babies to the bar, just as I would hope that they wouldn't invite me to go to Chucke Cheese! 


I believe its important in girl friendships to make new tradition. Like wine night in, or Saturday shopping dates. Now matter what your relationship status is, sometimes you just need time with the girls. 


I wonder what dress I will wear the next time I walk down the aisle....