"We don’t need to rush. If something’s bound to happen, it will happen. In the right time, with the right person and for the best reason."
I think I need to ingrain this quote into my head...
It seems like the past two months of dating has been a world wind. When I last left off in this lil dating scenario, I was talking about how D and I were hanging out a lot and M was out of the picture. We went on dinner dates, two stepped, watched TV, had wine, spent St. Pat's together on Greenville Ave, went on walks through the park, picked my bracket for the NCAA tourney, and went on a day long adventure in Dallas together. Everything was going great, we were totally connecting, and really enjoying our time together.
After one of our dates together we talked about taking things slow because we both really liked each other. He said that he didn't want to mess things up with me by rushing in too fast. I really appreciated the upfront conversations, even though in a way they freaked me out. My relationship with Mr. Wrong was complete opposite, we had a great time together not communicating about us. It seemed that D and I had a great time together talking about us. I started to really fall for this guy and develop real feelings for him. I even started introducing him to my friends and took a big leap of inviting him to be on my date for a charity event later on this month.
That was two weeks ago, now here I am wondering what the hell happened. I have been an insecure basket case for the past week. I think I resemble Kate Hudson's character in "How to Lose a guy in 10 days", only in my case its been 11 days since I last saw D. We have texted a little bit, but nothing serious or in talks about getting together soon. I know that he is extremely busy at work right now, but I'm wondering if that is true. You see I work a 8-4 job, with no real over hours. So its hard for my educator brain to wrap itself around the idea of deadlines, bosses, and over time.
I went to the lake with my girls from work for a nice weekend or R&R. It was great other then the fact that my thoughts the entire time were on how D and I haven't seen each other. Thoughts plagued my head that he has moved on and is over me. He texted me on Saturday to my relief to tell me he was working alot, even on that day, and that we would keep in touch this weekend. So of course my stalker self texted and called him today to "keep in touch". I received a text back at this evening saying that he was super busy and not able to hang out tonight. I'm trying not to read too much into this, but its hard not to.
How can relationships have such momentum, and all of the sudden throw on the brakes??? I am a control freak (as we all know), so I know innately I'm trying to manipulate this situation into what I want it to be. I just want him to call me, tell me he wants to see me, and follow through. I'm not ready for the title of girlfriend, I just want to know that the past months weren't for nothing. I want to know that when a guy tells me that he likes me, that I can believe it and trust him.
I think sometimes single girls just hold on to a relationship and suffocate it. I know that is what I'm doing here. I've forgotten how I want to be the one pursued, and instead have become the pursuer (aka stalker). A picture of Pepe Le Pew chasing the black cat around comes to my head!
Someone once told me a relationship is like a baby chick. It needs to be held gently, because if you hold on to it too tight it will suffocate and die. What's meant to be is going to be whether its with D or with someone else. Keep your fingers crossed!
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