What's Your Theme Song?

Last weekend I was at my friend's A-mazing wedding in Austin. As several of my friends and I were riding back to the hotel, I thew out the question "What's the theme song of your life". We all pondered for awhile and then provided our answers. I realize that in different stages of your life, you may have different songs that ring true of where you are on your journey. Last week my answer was "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga. The song totally expresses not letting things getting you down, and just dancing away your troubles. It also reminds me of a dear friend, we spent hours jamming out to that song in the car.

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmmJust dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmmJust dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-danceDance, dance, just, j-j-just dance

Tonight as I was on the treadmill I realized that I had a second track to add to my "life album". This week my theme song is "She Wolf" by Shakira. I feel awfully vibrant and on the prowl. Hopefully this weekend I can release my inner She Wolf! LOL!

Sitting across a bar, staring right at her prey. It's going well so far, she's gonna get her wayNocturnal creatures are not so prudentThe moon's my teacher, and I'm her student
To locate the single men, I got on me a special radarAnd the fire department hotline in case I get in trouble laterNot looking for cute little divos or rich city guys that just want to enjoyBut having a very good time and behave very bad in the arms of a boy
There's a she wolf in the closetOpen up and set her freeThere's a she wolf in your closetLet it out so it can breathe

What's your theme song??

Getting the Apartment Boyfriend Ready

Some people nest, some people spring clean, today I got my apartment boyfriend ready. You might be wondering what exactly your apartment has to do with being "boyfriend ready".

When you live alone it is very easy to come home, dump your shopping bags on your countertop, leave your flip flops by the tv, and occastionally consider dusting and or windexing your picture frames. To some this may sound like I'm simply a slob, but its really the opposite. When you are single you are so busy going to happy hours or pool parties or as of late weddings, that you are barely home. You don't have more then a hour between social engagements to get home and really deep clean. At the same time you don't really care that there are magazines stacked up on the desk, because you will not be home and more importantly NO ONE IS COMING OVER. Sure, occasionally my mom will stop by, or a friend will run up to my apartment; but for the most part no one comes over.

I always know when I am ready to open my heart and the possibilities to a boy, when I start to feel the need to deep clean. So that is what I did today, got the rubbber gloves out and got it done! My apartment is now an oasis of domistic sensibility. Tomorrow I will finish it up by adding some new plug ins and crisp clean candles. I wonder who my first mister visitor will be???



What I needed to hear this week...

Too Intuitive

It's good for a counselor to be intuative in her field. To know and have a sense when something iis unsettled for a client, but its another thing when she has that feeling about her own personal life- especially in dating.

Having that unsetteled gut feeling can lead to converstaions that need to be had; and being open and honest is something that is often tricky the first few weeks of knowing each other. You don't really know that person well enough to gauge how they will react, and you definitely dont feel ready to say anything to rock the boat.

In my past relationships I failed at stepping up to the plate and intiating hard conversations. I just thought that I would let the guy take the lead and just push my confusion and unsettled feelings to the side. Doing nothing only created anxiety and allowed my "crazy" girl side to come out. I like the crazy girl to stay in her cage.

A friend said something that really stuck with me yesterday- that good relationships are based on trust and respect. To me respect is being open and honest.

Here we go... here goes honesty- being honest to myself and to him.

I'm shady

I've been shady from my blog lately, I know this. But its only because I have been getting my "read on". I have fallen under the spell of Fifty Shades of Gray. For those of you how know me, you know I am not a big reader (though I must brag and say that I also have just finished The Hunger Games trilogy). This book makes Peeta and Katness look like a first grade romance. This book is so addicting that I have been losing numerous hours of sleep;  I simply cannot stop reading. The mystery of Mr. Gray and the tourtured soul of Miss Anasastia Steele keep me flipping the pages into the wee horus of the night, waking up with puffy eyes and planning our my next allotment of reading time. I admit, there has been one Friday night that I even chose to stay in so that I could read about fifty.

I believe this book has been bringing women together. I know my co-workers, friends, and even moms of my students have been caught debating the dynamics between the relationship of Christian and Ana. Text messages with phrases from the book have been passed from person to person, and book covers have been made so that the reader feels comfortable diving into the pages in public.

I can't wait to attend my book club's meeting this month. I know the converstaion will be getting a bit steamy!  

Thanks for the memories...

I think I have become asexual.... seriously. I keep going on dates, but lately there has been no "spark". I keep meeting decent enough guys, but there always seems to be some flaw. I'm starting to miss the days of being soooooo excited about seeing a boy and anticipating the first kiss. Now its more like "great he called... do I have to kiss him goodnight?". What is going on here people????? Yes, I still like men... but I have yet to find a man to actually like.

The past three weeks I have been talking to another new boy... we shall name him ER (since that is where he works). ER had great potential. He is a born and raised Dallas boy (from the HP), went to a fancy smancy Dallas private school, only to go on and graduate from the Ivy League. He was Uptown (lived in a fabulous high rise with his own door guy) and had a kind and compassionate heart. He works in a pediatric ER and his love for kids won me over. We went on a date after my Italy trip and I was interested, then he was out of town, and I was out of town yet the "spark" was still alive as we texted and talked on the phone.

Last Monday he texted me at work about a "hypothetical spontaneous road trip to a casino". Both of our schedules had become so complex that there was a chance we wouldn't get to see each other any other time during the week. After texting back and forth under the supervision of my esteemed and trusted colleague, I agreed to go with him and his crew across the Texas state line to Winstar Casino for a 5 hour turn around road trip. I was super excited! This was super outside of my box to agree to go on such a spontaneous trip, crossing state lines with someone I was still getting to know. I flew home from work and threw on my best Oklahoma gambling clothes. ER came and picked me up and we met up with his cute and married friend to start our trip.

It started out well, ER had packed all the necessary road trip supplies: pillows, wine, water, and snacks. The conversation in the car was flowing, and I was genuinely thinking this was going to be a fun time. I was getting along with his friend and got to know more about ER's past.

When we got to the casino and his friend split off for his poker tourney, the fun ended. He turned lame and dull. He didn't have the same energy of someone who coaxed me into going on this exciting Monday night road trip. He had nothing to say, and what he did have to say I didn't really care to hear. I don't know if he was trying to gauge my interest or what, but he kept bringing up how he was still interested in some other girls. It was bizarre. I told him that generally you don't talk about other people you are dating while you are on a date; and that he didn't owe me anything, that we were there to have fun and see if there was any potential between us. After dinner his friend was done losing his money and we got back in the car to head home. ER literally put his head on the window and didn't speak the entire hour drive back. His friend and I however carried on a fabulous conversation (seriously, the good ones are always taken). When we got home he took me back to my apartment, and I said the routine "I had fun, talk to you later" goodbye. Though in my head I was really thinking "I really didn't have that good of a time, and really I'd be ok if you didn't call".

ER proceeded to text me the next day and thank me again for going with him on the trip. I replied and thanked him for the invitation. I think he could tell I was over it, and over him. I have no desire to give ER another chance. He was a nice guy, but one of those guys who was too smart for his own good. I need someone who can be laid back and fun when you are at a freakin casino!!!! Not someone who becomes a bump on a log and wants to have intense conversations about hypothetical relationships.

I do have to thank ER though. He helped me cross TWO things off on my 30 by 30 list- go on a spontaneous road trip and go gambling. So I guess the whole relationship wasn't for nothing.

I don't think there is anything wrong with me. I think I am just at the point where I am comfortable with who I am and where I am in my life. I don't necessarily need someone to complete me, I am complete on my own- but it would be fun to have someone to share my life experiences and build a future with. I know with all my heart that when I meet the right guy, my heart and my head will be ready. Not to mention the though of kissing him won't totally oogey met out!

On to the next one!

The Boy With the Dragon Tattoo

No "The Boy With the Dragon Tattoo" isn't a new novel, it is the last guy I went on a date with! It all started out so normal, yet ended as a hot mess.

(Tattoo is not actual tattoo from boy!)

The Boy With the Dragon Tattoo aka TBWTDT and I met on Match. We were emailing for about a week, and then decided to meet up on Friday night. I was pretty excited because on paper he met all my criteria. He had a masters in accounting, was from Texas, owned a house, and had a great sense of humor. He suggested that we meet up for dinner, and I told him that I felt more comfortable meeting up for a drink before committing to dinner. (I am a firm believer that dinner is wayyyy too much for a blind date, drinks gives you an out if they are psycho/ugly). We decided we would meet up at a local Dallas hotspot, The Loon. I got there a few minutes early and sat in a booth. That is when TBWTDT had his first STRIKE.... he was 15 minutes late. He texted and said he was running a few minutes late, which I thought would be like five minutes...but no, it was longer.

When he walked in the door, I instantly thought he was cute and sat up a little straighter in the booth. He was tall, dark, handsome, and dressed nicely in his work clothes. We instantly jumped into conversation, and he got pretty deep really fast asking me about my previous relationships and why they didn't work out. For me the past relationship talk is more of a second or third date conversation, not something you bring up in the first 20 minutes of meeting someone, but I went with the flow and disclosed my past.

Things were still going ok and I was still vibing on him, when I made a comment about a girl at the table next to us who had a whopper tattoo on her back. Typically this is not something you would see in the uptown scene. He kinda paused and said he had a tattoo.

Disclaimer: I am not a tattoo snob. I acknowledge that some people choose to permanently ink their body, however this is something that I could never commit to! I am way too indecisive to decide which outfits I like, more less something that would permanently be on my body for the rest of my life!

I asked him about his tattoo and he said he had a dragon on his back. I told him about my disclaimer and then he divulged more. Not only did he have one tattoo of a dragon, but really it was two dragons fighting. I just kinda laughed and was like "ok that's cool, but why didn't you just say that to begin with". A few minutes later he shared EVEN MORE about his tattoo and how actually it was more like a scene of two dragons on his back that went from his waist all the way up to his back. STRIKE TWO! I instantly had a visualization of TBWTDT at my family's Annual 4th of July party. I imagined him in the pool playing with my nieces and nephew with a big ol' tattoo showing to my conservative family. Then he continued to say that eventually I would get to see his tattoo... greeeeeaaattttt I thought!

I decided that I would really try to think outside my box, and not judge a book by its dragon tattoo cover. So I agreed to go with him to another location to continue our conversation and grab another drink and dinner. We went to the next location and the first thing he did was reach into his pocket and pull out a cigarette. He also continued to smoke in front of me as we were leaving. STRIKE THREE... I think smoking is gross, and I can't imagine dating a smoker. I hate the way it smells, and think its not a healthy choice. TBWTDT didn't even try to hide this nasty habit from me on the first date. At least respect a girl enough not to smoke in front of a girl you are trying to impress. Plus I was kinda upset that he didn't put on his Match profile that he was a smoker.

After the date I really had to think about things. Is the reason I'm single because I am too judgemental? Should and would I give TBWTDT another try? Maybe the reason I was single is because I have too high of standards.

I talked with several of my friends that weekend and they all agreed that this guy did not seem like the guy for me. I though they were probably right; while I could probably get over the tattoos, I don't think I could marry a smoker. You can't change people, and have to accept each person as they are. I couldn't wrap my head around accepting the boy with the dragon tattoo.

He continued to text me and try to set up another time for us to hang out, it got to a point where it was just annoying. It was very annoying when he kept texted me about taking Saki shots  and then asked me how my day was when he knew I was at my grandmother's funeral. This boy simply wasn't for me. Today he texted me and asked me if I was back from my week long trip to Italy, which I am. I could tell he wanted to set up another date, and I decided this past week when I was in Italy that I needed to be honest with him. For the first time in my life, I had to be the bad guy and break this relationship off.

I thought of how the last guy texted me and said he wasn't interested, and remembered the sting. I knew it sucked to be the reciever of that text, but I couldn't keep letting TBWTDT think he had a chance with me. So I did it. I replied to his text and tried to break it to him gently, saying that I didn't have time to pursue this relationship with him. He responded and said what I really meant, that I just wasn't interested in him... which is the truth.

When you like someone, you make time for them. I couldn't visualize myself dating a guy with a back inked up who smelt like smoke. Maybe that's judgmental, but he wasn't for me.