It's really weird how sometimes in life things come to a point where you have to chose the path you are on. Right now I feel like my path as a fork in it, and I am pulled over on the side of the road, refusing to budge. So many things have changed, yet so many things are the same. I don't really have a plan from this point out. I just moved into my dream location in all the hussle and bussle, yet I wake up this morning and have no one to share this journey with. I want someone to stroll down McKinney Avenue with me and a grab a cup of coffee (of course I'm picturing the weather not being 100 degress outside while we do this).
The ironic thing is this past week I thought there was the potential of sharing my life with someone, I was kinda excited. But something happened, something in me. I realized that while Mr. Social was a great guy, there were still a lot of things I were doubting in him. I could push myself to fall for this guy, or I could hang back and see what happens. We had gone to a book signing together on Tuesday night, and something just felt kinda off with me. While I was excited to get to go to the book signing, during our time there, my excitement for being there with Mr. Social began to fizzle. He had all these girls that were talking to him (just as friends), and I realized that I was this person being pushed aside. I then ran into my friends, and he acted quiet, not really saying much. It was just a really funky night. I then didn't contact him for the next few days, and low and behold, he didn't contact me either. Then last night I ran into him at my end of season kickball party, and chose to go hang out with my friends rather then stay there to hang out with him. Needless to say, on my end its pretty over with Mr. Social. I'm ok with that, I feel like it was mostly on my part that I pulled over on the path we were heading down. For some reason my caution light started flashing.
Now I'm sitting on my comfy red couch wondering where to go from here. I really do appreciate all the experiences I'm gaining from dating people, but I wish that one of these relationships would be worth me putting myself in relationship drive and continuing further down the road.
I know what you're thinking, you don't have to have a guy to continue in life. I get this better then anyone, I am pretty darn good at being single. In fact, sometimes I wonder if I'm TOO good at being single. So I'm going to take the advice I always give my friends and family- just focus on you! Take this time and do all the things you want to do, work out, meet up with friends, read books. I laughed when I read Glamor Magazine's "Its Ok" section. One of the witty things it said was "Its OK to start working out for your wedding body... even though you're still single".
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