Control Freak

I really have a problem... I am a control freak when it comes to dating. No matter how hard I try not to control a situation, I always some how try to manipulate it to be the same way I saw it in my head. I think this control issue mostly rears its ugly head in relationships.

I am by no means someone who tries to control the other person, just someone who tries to control the way things work out. I blame this on being the first born child, and my desire for things to go as planned. The unexpected freaks me out! 

I bring up this control issue because all week I have been battling with trying not to take the control in my blossoming relationships with M and D. Both boys must have read my last blog, because the next day they both were contacting me and wanting to meet up. They both braved the Dallas Ice Storm of '11 to meet me up (which looking back now, is really flattering!).

M met up with me on Thursday at Grand Luxe for happy hour, and then the next day D called to meet up for coffee and shopping. Both of these guys got a extra bonus on these 2nd dates, because my friend Amanda third wheeled it on both occasions. ( I know what you're thinking, but we were snowed in, and I wasn't going to ditch one of my favorite girls for a boy... Plus, I wanted her opinion).  The verdict was that each date went really well, and my friend gave the thumbs up on both boys.

I didn't hear from either boy Saturday, and went into complete control freak mode. All I wanted to do was text and say hello. I know that I want a guy that pursues me, so why do I feel the need to contact them? UGH! Needless to say, my friends talked me down from picking up the phone and sending the lame "hey there" or "who do you think will win the game". Neediness is not attractive in a perspective girlfriend. I filled my Sunday and my soul by attending church and community group.  This time at church helped pacify me from making the fatal mistake of being the girl that is annoying and stalker-like; and reminded me that I am not the one in control of my path... God is. 


I made it through the Sunday night (surviving the Super Bowl). I heard from M as the game started, but was still anxiously wanting to hear from D. As I lay in bed I said a little prayer to the Lord, telling him that I was giving him control of my path. Ironically, five minutes later at 10:45 pm, D texted me. I am going to take that as a sign that God is saying to me "Jenn, sit back and enjoy the ride, I got this!"


I am the worst player EVER in the "waiting game".  In my head I keep day dreaming about one of them calling me and setting up a date for this week. I guess this shows that I am intrigued by both M and D. I do have to also remind myself that this is "Valentine Week"... so what single guy in his right mind is going to be putting himself out there this week? 

My plan of attack for M and D... just sit and wait. Even though it sucks, that is what I need to do right now. So between now and Monday... I will be wearing mittens when I am alone so that I don't fulfill my need to reach out and text someone...Its a Mittervention!