My self help homework assignment- almost due

So I gave myself a crazy assignment 3 months ago- to take time off from dating and focus on myself. Well in typical slacker style, I have been doing everything but focusing inward. I have been too busy focusing on outward things. Now its November 3rd and I have 8 days to bring it all together. Just like my students at school, I procrastinate until the deadline is on the horizon. 

I feel like my body is telling me to hibernate these next few days and devote some quality time to some introspection. I still have the ginormous task of defining "what I want" and "who I am". I feel very close to having the final pieces to the puzzle, but really need to close off the doors to the outside world. 

I need to "be still, trust my heart, stop the frantic search the urgent chase... just be still and all will be revealed". So for the next days to come until 11-11-11 that is exactly what I am going to do. I am going to be still and listen to my heart. I'm going to trust in HIM and rely less on myself.

Just confirm me already

Why is it that a relationship is only justified these days if it is "Facebook" official?? I keep finding myself checking my friends list seeing if my friend tally is 600+1. Yes, I have 600 friends, but its that one additional person I'm really wanting to show up on my news feed.

You see, I met this boy the other night, and things definitely had potential. After a few  jello shots and a game of flip cup, we parted ways, and sent a few midnight texts (don't worry peeps, they weren't that type of late night text!). When I finally arrived in my parking garage that night the night was a complete blur.  Not only did I have jello brain, I also had word vomit when I was talking to him at the party. I debated with my girl friend right then and there over our late night Whataburger if I should send him a Facebook friend request. My friend and I both agreed I had nothing to lose, so I went for it and pressed send. I'm sure at the time I thought it was no big deal, I had the confidence of jello behind me!

But here I sit 4 days later, constantly looking at my phone, hoping that I will get a notification saying "Franz (that is his nickname since he was dressed as a German Oktoberfest dude at the party) confirmed your friend request". What happened to the good old days when just a guy getting your number was enough to let you know he was interested? Now you also have to make the approval online? It's like double approval, double confirmation that he is interested.

This relationship is pending in so many ways now! Do I cancel my friend request and move on? Or do I just assume he is not a Facebook stalker like myself? Why oh why did I press send? 

I guess time only time will tell, but until then I am updating my pics and my wall.

You will be what you are becoming

Last night I heard the most profound line ever from my pastor- "You will be (in the future) what you are becoming (now)". This rang so true to my heart. 

Through this past year I think I have truly transformed as a person, I've become more like the person I want to be in the future. And while I'm not completely everything I aim to be, I know I'm heading the right direction. 

Sometimes you have to appreciate where you've been to better understand where you want to go. The previous year made me question a lot about myself, and made me realize I was on the wrong path... a path of low self worth and numerous bad choices.

Through lots of tears, meds, wine, church, dancing, shopping, eating, running, and alone time I think I've decided who the person I want to become. I want to be that person that is a good friend, yet takes care of herself too. I want to be a dedicated professional, who aims high, and has true job satisfaction. I want to be someone who is spiritual and can pull from the word in times of need. I want to be a good wife and mom to my future children. I want to have a mended heart so that I can fully pour into others. 

The other night I told one of my girlfriends "Every now and then you have to be proud of yourself for how far you've come." So I guess that is what I'm doing right now, patting myself on the back for pushing through towards being a better Savvy.  

One is silver and the others gold...

When I was little I was a girl scout, well I guess technically I you are always a girl scout. I remember going to our brownie troop meetings and my fabulous troop leader (my clever mother) always had us sing a song called "Make New Friends". To this day that song rings true in my head "make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the others gold, a circle is round, it never ends, that's how long I want to be your friend". 

In my 29 years I've the words of that song has been illustrated to me time and time again. Tonight I felt the comfort of true friendship. There is nothing better then meeting up with a old friend and picking up just where you left off. There is no hurt in your heart that its been 3-4-5 months since you last sat down together or picked up the phone. The two of you simply pick up just where you left off, having a glass of wine and laughing at life. I love and cherish those friends in my life, the old friendships that maintain themselves. Sure, every now and again you need a little friendship maintenance, but for the most part they are simple and true.

To all of my silver and gold friends, I love you and cherish our times together whether they be once a week or once a year! Love and AOE!

Highs and Lows of Singleness

When it comes to the state of being "single" one is faced with many highs and lows... I have composed a list of the things that are great about being single, and the things that are not so great.

High- Being able to go to bed at 8:00 on a Tuesday night just because you want to.
Low- Going to bed early knowing that no one is going to interupt your REM cycle to say goodnight.

High- You can be a complete slob at your house for a week, because no one is going to see it.
Low- Realizing you are a slob and that no one is coming over to see it.

High- Going out with your girlfriends for drinks
Low- Having to pay for those drinks

High- Buying new outfits and getting to show them off
Low- Wasting a new outfit on a uninteresting night. 

High- Maintaining a busy schedule and getting to do whatever you want to do. 
Low- When you start trying to date someone, you have to find a spot to schedule them in. 

High- Having a entire bed to yourself all the time
Low- Snuggling with your stuffed animal (that might have happened this week... just saying). 

High- Wearing any height of heel you want to
Low- Those new shoes giving you massive blisters

High- Being content being alone.
Low- All your friends getting engaged, married, or having babies

High- The fantasy of how you are going to meet Mr. Right 
Low- Looking for Mr. Right at every corner


High- Accepting where you are in this moment. Loving yourself and trusting in the Lord that everything will turn out the way HE has planned. Knowing and believing that this is your season to focus on you, because any day your world could be flipped around by love and a new relationship. 

Italia???

Ok so this singleton is torn. I've been invited on a 8 day trip to Italy over spring break, and I don't know what to do. Clearly, its one of my life long dreams to go to Europe and explore its rich tradition, but at this point in my life I'm not sure how responsible that is for me financially.

I'm a single girl who lives on a school counselor salary. Is it smart to spend $3,500+ on a Italian get away? Or should I be putting that money towards savings. I know I can cut back on shopping and eating out, but is that something I'm willing to do?

Is this the time of my life when I get on that serous budget I keep referring to? Is this when I actually entertain myself the cheap way of fitness, movies, and not buying cute outfits? I never thought a trip to Europe might be the thing that changed my life before I even left US soil! 

I need a plan, I need advisers, I need a drink.My head says "don't do it", but my heart says "jump all in". So which one is it? What does Savvy do in this situation? Do I follow my heart?  

Oh how I love the fall!

There is nothing better then waking up, fixing yourself a lil breakfast taco, lacing up your running shoes and hitting up the Katy Trail. This morning was the type of morning that belongs in a pocket. I think I have a runners high (well today for me it was more like a walker/jogger high). Dallas is so gorgeous, especially when its a cool 68 degrees outside.

As I walked the streets of Uptown towards my mid destination the trail, I just couldn't help but smile. THere were workers buzzing around cleaning the streets, yummy scents of brunch, and waiters hurridly setting tables on the empty patios. There were cars that didn't make it to their garage last night after a few too many drinks. THere were girls wearing last nights dress, and others wearing their cute running gear. It was so peaceful, I love me some urban living. 

As I made my strides on the trail I looked at all the runners, so determined to make it somewhere. There were old couples strolling, babies giggling, and young singeltons working on their fitness. Though we were all there together, we were all in our own thoughts. My thoughts focusing on how amazing life is, and how blessed I am to be able to wake up each morning. 

On my way home, I stopped by a cute lil coffee shop on my street, Crooked Tree Coffee. I love this place because its in a lil old house, that is now surrounded by all this urban life. For you teachers out there- it reminds me of the book "The Little House". I got my large cup of Oak Cliff brew latte and made my way back to my lil apartment in Big Dallas. 

In my heart I know that there are many more Saturdays like this to come. I want to make this my simplistic Saturday ritual. My time this morning definitely made me thank God for all he has blessed me with. I feel at peace, and can't wait to continue my fabulous day with friends!