Sundays...

I think I have come full circle when it comes to Sundays. A year ago if you asked me which night of the week I feel the most single, my answer would have been on Sunday. If you asked me that same question now, my answer would be that there isn't any night that I feel alone. Something has definitely changed and its not my Facebook relationship status. 

When I was part of a couple- Sundays always meant dinner and then hanging out. I missed that for a long time after I was no longer a "we" and instead became a "just me". With lots of time and self love, I have filled that void of needing to have someone with simply being satisfied with just being with me. Its kinda a weird thing to actually admit. Today I was super excited about coming back home to my little world for a night of cooking dinner, watching two chick flicks in a row, pinning and napping. 

I'm not saying this is the Sunday routine I want to maintain for the rest of my life, but for now I'm comfortable and thoroughly enjoying spending time with myself. Its actually the thought of adding someone into my routine that stirs up some anxiety in my head. Right now in my life, there is the potential of my solo Sundays becoming extinct, and that kinda scares me. Am I ready to jump back into sharing my space and my time with someone? 

I think the answer to that is that I will give up my solo Sundays when I find someone I feel is worthy enough of my time. Someone who I want to spend my time with, someone that I can't get enough of being around. Someone who I see the potential for a lifelong Sunday routine with. Now the question remains- How do I let my guard down enough to let someone in...

Since I've Been Gone

Yup, it happened. No matter how hard I tried to slow it down, I turned the big 3-0 and am loving it! Not saying it came by tear free, but overall it was a fabulous milestone in my life. I can honestly say, that I am at my personal best emotionally and socially.... but physically I'm still not there. That is why I am dedicating this year to getting healthy and fit. That's right folks there is a new life challenge this year- To lose 31 pounds by 31. 

Ok I wrote it... It's out there. All ten of my followers know this is my goal, so now I must do it or face disappointment on August 19th 2013! Can I do it? How will I do it? These are all things I am going to spend this week figuring out. 

I just finished off a pint of Ben and Jerry's and am opening my new weight watchers scale. Tomorrow on Monday, September 3rd its on!

What's Your Theme Song?

Last weekend I was at my friend's A-mazing wedding in Austin. As several of my friends and I were riding back to the hotel, I thew out the question "What's the theme song of your life". We all pondered for awhile and then provided our answers. I realize that in different stages of your life, you may have different songs that ring true of where you are on your journey. Last week my answer was "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga. The song totally expresses not letting things getting you down, and just dancing away your troubles. It also reminds me of a dear friend, we spent hours jamming out to that song in the car.

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmmJust dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmmJust dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-danceDance, dance, just, j-j-just dance

Tonight as I was on the treadmill I realized that I had a second track to add to my "life album". This week my theme song is "She Wolf" by Shakira. I feel awfully vibrant and on the prowl. Hopefully this weekend I can release my inner She Wolf! LOL!

Sitting across a bar, staring right at her prey. It's going well so far, she's gonna get her wayNocturnal creatures are not so prudentThe moon's my teacher, and I'm her student
To locate the single men, I got on me a special radarAnd the fire department hotline in case I get in trouble laterNot looking for cute little divos or rich city guys that just want to enjoyBut having a very good time and behave very bad in the arms of a boy
There's a she wolf in the closetOpen up and set her freeThere's a she wolf in your closetLet it out so it can breathe

What's your theme song??

Getting the Apartment Boyfriend Ready

Some people nest, some people spring clean, today I got my apartment boyfriend ready. You might be wondering what exactly your apartment has to do with being "boyfriend ready".

When you live alone it is very easy to come home, dump your shopping bags on your countertop, leave your flip flops by the tv, and occastionally consider dusting and or windexing your picture frames. To some this may sound like I'm simply a slob, but its really the opposite. When you are single you are so busy going to happy hours or pool parties or as of late weddings, that you are barely home. You don't have more then a hour between social engagements to get home and really deep clean. At the same time you don't really care that there are magazines stacked up on the desk, because you will not be home and more importantly NO ONE IS COMING OVER. Sure, occasionally my mom will stop by, or a friend will run up to my apartment; but for the most part no one comes over.

I always know when I am ready to open my heart and the possibilities to a boy, when I start to feel the need to deep clean. So that is what I did today, got the rubbber gloves out and got it done! My apartment is now an oasis of domistic sensibility. Tomorrow I will finish it up by adding some new plug ins and crisp clean candles. I wonder who my first mister visitor will be???



What I needed to hear this week...

Too Intuitive

It's good for a counselor to be intuative in her field. To know and have a sense when something iis unsettled for a client, but its another thing when she has that feeling about her own personal life- especially in dating.

Having that unsetteled gut feeling can lead to converstaions that need to be had; and being open and honest is something that is often tricky the first few weeks of knowing each other. You don't really know that person well enough to gauge how they will react, and you definitely dont feel ready to say anything to rock the boat.

In my past relationships I failed at stepping up to the plate and intiating hard conversations. I just thought that I would let the guy take the lead and just push my confusion and unsettled feelings to the side. Doing nothing only created anxiety and allowed my "crazy" girl side to come out. I like the crazy girl to stay in her cage.

A friend said something that really stuck with me yesterday- that good relationships are based on trust and respect. To me respect is being open and honest.

Here we go... here goes honesty- being honest to myself and to him.

I'm shady

I've been shady from my blog lately, I know this. But its only because I have been getting my "read on". I have fallen under the spell of Fifty Shades of Gray. For those of you how know me, you know I am not a big reader (though I must brag and say that I also have just finished The Hunger Games trilogy). This book makes Peeta and Katness look like a first grade romance. This book is so addicting that I have been losing numerous hours of sleep;  I simply cannot stop reading. The mystery of Mr. Gray and the tourtured soul of Miss Anasastia Steele keep me flipping the pages into the wee horus of the night, waking up with puffy eyes and planning our my next allotment of reading time. I admit, there has been one Friday night that I even chose to stay in so that I could read about fifty.

I believe this book has been bringing women together. I know my co-workers, friends, and even moms of my students have been caught debating the dynamics between the relationship of Christian and Ana. Text messages with phrases from the book have been passed from person to person, and book covers have been made so that the reader feels comfortable diving into the pages in public.

I can't wait to attend my book club's meeting this month. I know the converstaion will be getting a bit steamy!